Don't tell me nothing is wrong when obviously there is. ERERERER. I'm so fucking aggrevated right now. And don't fucking ask me to tell a secret when I've been sworn to secrecy. Remember, honesty is VERY important to me. If you can't be honest with me, you don't need to be a part of my life.
Don't get mad at me because I can't give you the answers you want to hear. 2 things I don't do: blow smoke up someone's ass and I damn sure won't kiss anyone's ass to get somewhere. I'm not a manupulative person. Somedays I wish I had that in me, because I could get a lot more in life than what I have now. I could possibly have the man I want, but I wouldn't do that to him and I won't lower myself to that level either.
Damn it, now I'm in a fucking pissy ass mood. I give up. I'm trying so damn hard to be his friend and some things just seem to explode on me.
I honestly am beginning to feel like back up. Fuck that shit. I'm done.
Guess the wind blew the wrong way today,'cause my feelings are all fucked up and i feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I needed my friend today and all he fucking cared about was someone saying he was hot, he should take that as a compliiment. I needed to tell him all about the dna tests. How scared i am. I have no one else to tell, I haven't told anyone else. Maybe it's time I do, so i don't rely on just him as my sounding board. And besides, once I get back into the swing of things, I can't exactly tell him all. Some days I wonder if it wasn't a mistake to let Tim go as a friend. At least he fucking knew me inside and out.
I'm going back to bed, fuck this shit, getting pissy over something stupid. I fucking needed him and he let me down.
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