Much needed weekend

For once, I can actually say, TGIF. Ok, so let's not get real technical, due to insomnia, it is Saturday, but any way...
I'm leaving tomorrow to go to a friend's house for a long weekend. I love the fact that he is going to babysit for his sister. That is just so sweet. Hell, only reason my brothers wanted my son was to pick up chicks at Texas Steakhouse. Sad thing is, it worked. My poor child, who knows what he was subjected to, all those girls cooing over him, thinking my brother was a single father and how precious is was. BLAH. But back to the original subject. I have told him that I feel a drunk coming on. So, I am heading out tomorrow sometime and plan on getting thoroughly shit faced and taking advantage of someone! Oh yeah, he told me I couldnt' take advantage of the willing. Hmm..well, at any rate, I'm ready to go now!!

My house has been chaos for days now. Mostly due to my son & my ex husband. I swear, hunting season comes around and the testosterone levels go through the roof. I hope Andrew gets his first deer this year, otherwise, I'm gonna go nuts listening to him.

My baby sister & mom go back home on Monday, I think. I will miss her greatly. I had forgotten how much fun we have together. I think we giggled all day long. I still can't believe she's 21. Damn, I'm getting old. The thought of her being a woman just shocks me. I guess it's like Andrew, I turned around and poof, she was grown. Won't be long it will be my baby brother's birthday. Strange, I always asked for a baby brother, got him finally, and I ended up being closer to my baby sister. But he still holds a special place in my heart, even if he is a snob.

I hope everyone has a great weekend. I know I plan on having a really good one. It's cool like that now, I finally found someone I can sit down with and have those deep dark conversations with. Not sure how much impact I make on the conversation, but hey, at least it's interesting.

Do you think he's a military prick?

Ok, people are messing with friends again..so ya'll back us up here.......

Funny, I still prefer to be called Sergeant Military Prick...or perhaps Disabled Veteran .

Read my blog:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=53089855&blogID=182399210&MyToken=037aec27-a38f-49a1-87fa-5e9c51a1954f

Tell me what you think...Was I wrong to tell him that I disagreed with his views and no longer wanted to be his friend?

Did I call him names like I'm still a 3rd grader or name calling an automatic reaction from some people.

Best Idea yet. After you post comments to my blog...send him an email.

http://www.myspace.com/roanoke_va

Best Idea ever....Repost this bulletin in 90 seconds or a military prick will hide a murdeous clown doll in you little brothers bedroom at 2:01 am tomorrow!

Wasn't justice still served?

The guy had 15 hours to go. It doesn't say what method they were going to use. So, my thoughts are, if he was going to kill himself, couldn't he just left a note, to tell the family of the victim whether or not he was truly guilty or innocent. What did he have to lose after that? He would be dead. I wonder if he was trying to save his family from knowing he was a murderer. In my opinion he could have at least given the family closure.

Texas inmate kills self day of execution

By MICHAEL GRACZYK, Associated Press Writer2 hours, 26 minutes ago

A death-row inmate slit his own throat with a makeshift knife early Thursday, committing suicide about 15 hours before he was scheduled to be executed, a prison official said.

Michael Dewayne Johnson, 29, was on death row for the 1995 killing of a convenience store clerk near Waco.

Early Thursday, he slashed his own throat and arm with a makeshift blade fashioned from a small piece of metal attached to a wooden stick, said Michelle Lyons, spokeswoman for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice in Huntsville.

Prison guards had been checking on Johnson's welfare every 15 minutes, as is customary, when they found him unresponsive in a pool of blood in his cell, Lyons said. He was taken to a hospital in nearby Livingston, where he was pronounced dead, Lyons said.

"At a 2:30 a.m. check, Mr. Johnson was talking to prison staff, and had just eaten breakfast," Lyons said. "He had made no indications that he was contemplating suicide, nor has a note or other explanation been found."

Johnson's execution had been scheduled for 6 p.m. Thursday. His last-minute appeal was still pending before the U.S. Supreme Court.

His was at least the seventh suicide on death row in Texas.

In a recent prison interview, Johnson had denied gunning down 27-year-old Jeff Wetterman, who helped pump gas at the family store off Interstate 35 near Waco. Johnson blamed his companion, David Vest, for the killing.

"I never even saw the dude," Johnson said. "(Vest) jumped back into the car and we took off. He hollered: 'Go! Go! Go!'"

Vest blamed the shooting on Johnson, took an eight-year prison term in a plea deal and testified against his friend. Vest is now free.

Johnson's attorney Greg White argued in his client's Supreme Court appeal that Vest had admitted to the shooting but that the confession was improperly suppressed, depriving Johnson of a fair trial.

Johnson would have been the 22nd Texas inmate executed this year. The state now has 390 people on death row.

stalkers & men

LMAO, i got an email from Rhonda saying I was a man snatching whore and I got off one only being with ones that could never make a committment to me. If she only knew, but of course, like my other stalker, she will read this.
speaking of my other stalker, she was on my page this morning. Again, lmao. So much drama in my life and I ain't even doing anything. well, ok, i fess up, I did do something: I fell for a guy who loved someone else. So fucking drag me out into the street & shoot ME. She's such as dumb bitch who uses her "mental illness" as an excuse to him.
Whatever, fuck her & the horse she rode in on. Oh yeah, fuck you too Rhonda, and you don't even get a fucking horse, you whore.

So, Gary calls me today, I'm impressed. I did get a few tidbits of his/her conversation through IM. The only one that stuck me as odd, and he said he didn't read it, and will read it later to see what I'm talking about, is she make the remark that he supposedly said I was just like her. So this makes me wonder if he did. I'm thinking he probably did. I mean, she had no way to know that I would have ever read it, so why would she say it if he didn't. HMM...I take offense to that. I don't think that I am like her, in no way shape or form. I know the first few days we were talking I had a lot of problems. I wasn't taking my medicine because I didn't have it and all that. I just wonder how exactly he thinks we are alike. And if we are so much alike, why couldn't he ever be in a relationship with me. So this makes me wonder if that is the reason he didn't/doesn't ever want a relationship with me.
Ok, let me back up a few here. I know you are wondering why I'm worried about it and also, why I want to know so bad. Honestly, I do love Gary. The part I was talking about the other day when I said I didn't believe him about some parts, well the parts I didn't believe him about was that I loved him because he was a sober Kevin. At the time, it did make sense. And in a way, it still does. But I am so interested in him for a lot of different reasons than I was with Kevin. We make great friends, and I do want to keep that, but there is still a huge part of me that wants to be WITH him, as in g/f or whatever. But at the same time, I know that he loves Vickie. I can honestly say that now, I would never leave anyone for Kevin. Kevin is something in the past now. I'm ready to move on, really move on. He has made it plain & clear there will never be anything between us. Hence Steve.
Speaking of Steve, he did something really weird tonight, I told him tonight I needed to take down the Tolley sign, and he said yeah replace it with K....I completely freaked out. Needless to say, it didn't take long for me to scoot my butt back downstairs. We just sat and talked the rest of the night. He confuses me so bad.
Well, it is past my bedtime. More later....

Back up to the public

To my friends, readers & the general public, I'm sorry you have to see the snarky, sarcastic side of me. For the most part, I'm not like this. But when a person has annoyed me and other dear friends of mine, I tend to get this way. Hell, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em or annoy them....make them wonder. If nothing else, know that I am one loyal friend.

Since I seem to generate so much interest, my blog is back open to the public. If you missed a post because it was friends only, well, now you can go back & read it. You might find something interesting. Oh yeah, could you possibly return the favor, I would love to read all about you

Other hints & tips, you can subscribe to my blog, by simply clicking subscribe. This will let you know in your inbox when I've posted something. It's kinda handy, that way you don't have to keep coming back to my page unless you want something from me or as I've said before, to leave me a pretty picture. I don't mind, really, go ahead. There may be some people you even know that read my ramblings daily. Discuss it with them if you would like. Oh that's right, you already have.

This post is just for you, once again, if you take the time to read it. Or will it take you another 3 weeks to visit again? And read stuff that is ancient history in other people's life? Enjoy your visit....I changed my mind just to annoy the hell out of you. Just because I CAN. Kinda makes you wonder if I'm talking to you or if you are going crazy, doesn't it? Damn, I hate that for ya. Also makes you wonder how I know, doesn't it? I hate it when you can't find the answers you so desperately need and want.

A few more things I'd like to address, I do have something men want: love. Something apparently you can't share or won't. I'm not trying to put you down, I'm simply trying to point things out to you from an outsider's point of view. So, I have a question for you. Are you ready to step aside yet? You know there might be someone willing to step into your place. But then again, maybe there isn't. I guess you won't know, will you? I know I'll never tell...as I said before, I am loyal.

and he said she was bi polar

damn...went from picking on Gary about secrets to having my head bit off and shit back down my throat about how he had told me a 1000 times that it's different. it's not a secret. yeah, well, if it's not a secret, wonder if I can tell her? hmm, should have thought of that when I was talking to him. Man, he got an attitude. Fuck that shit.

Oh another note, Steve and I talked tonight, and well, I don't know if we will go anywhere. I honestly don't. I have decided to just keep talking to him and just see what happens. I'm not going into this with any expectations. Last time that happened, well, I ended up hurt. I don't want to be hurt anymore.

revelations

Once again, my life has been flipped upside down. Not in a bad way, I suppose.
I needed to hear what Gary told me last night. I didn't agree with it all, and I don't know that I believed everything that he told me, but what he told me makes sense. So, I will leave it at that.
I wrote a very long letter to Kevin, telling him that it was over. Completely over. No friendship, no POA, nothing. That is the only way I will be able to deal with this. It will be so much easier to hate him than to try to hang onto the thought of his possible sobriety. Because I know, he will never, ever be clean. Not only that, but he is not the person I met, the one I fell in love with or the one I love now. I wanted so desperately for him to choose me. But he didn't. He chose the lifestyle of drugs, lies and deception. And not only is he paying for it, I am too. But, I won't anymore and I won't subject my son to it.

I feel ok with all this. For the first time in months, I am at peace with myself. Really, honestly at peace. And that is a great feeling. Yes, I'm exhausted, mentally, I am wrung out. I feel like I have no more to give anyone. But I know that one day I will.