Dear Abby

As I grow older, I spend less time asking for advice from my mother. I suppose there are two reasons for this, one being she has Alzheimer's and various other mental issues. The second being, well, she tells me what I don't want to hear. (Odd, huh?) And usually she is right about things. But she has to "rub it in" once her prophecy becomes reality.

Now Daddy and Lisa, yeah, they tell me stuff I don't want to hear either. But they don't do it in a condescending sort of way. And again, usually they are right.

You would think that with all my parents giving me such good advice, I would listen. But do I? No, I'm too stubborn and have to learn the hard way. Then, as most kids do, I crawl back and bawl on their shoulder and ask them why didn't they tell me this to begin with? (They did, I was just too busy ignoring them)

Then there are moments when I hear: "Mark my words, you are going to regret this". And I absolutely hate hearing it. And I'm not ashamed to say, I have covered my ears and hummed to myself when advice comes out of someone's mouth beginning with those words. Which always brings me back to the age old question: "what did you ask for, if you didn't want the answer?" I guess I'm waiting on someone to tell me what I want to hear. And damnit, I haven't met anyone yet who will do that. Maybe Dear Abby might...

Thursday night, Steve and I were talking over dinner and out of his mouth comes the remark "I tried to point that out earlier". And in my mind, I thought "yeah, you did, but I wasn't ready to listen then".

So here I am, ready to take his advice. And here I am, wondering why in the hell did I not listen to him to begin with? And I answered my own question:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

No, I don't truly believe I'm insane or heading that direction, but it sounds like a good excuse to me.

So on that rambling note: wish me luck. I'm about to ass kiss like I have never ass kissed before. But, it's for a good reason. We shall see what happens. I don't accept defeat well, I never have. However, when defeat comes in the form of rejection, I have been known to completely lose it. This time I am bound and determined, I will not lose it. I'll keep my head held high and not let them know how disappointed I am. Again, insert insanity theory here.

If A Man Wants You

In light of what has been going on here lately, I think this is pretty good advice. It came from a special friend on a message board who has always been there to listen to my rants, raves and boo hooing. Thanks for the reminder Jovi!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...
compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.