Young and Innocent

OK, I didn't say it was my innocence that was captured. But it was my youth. This is somewhere in the vicinity of 1990, with Dale. I still had baby fat and big hair!

Wrapped Around Her Finger

Andrew and I went to meet Madelyn. She already has him wrapped around her tiny fingers. He got hold of that baby and wouldn't give her up. She has light red hair with blond mixed in. She has blond eyelashes and eyebrows. She's simply beautiful. Her name suits her. My Nannie always told me that Dale and I would make beautiful babies. Well, Dale and Tysone made one beautiful little girl. So here she is, along with her proud brother, Mama and Daddy.

Dale, Andrew and Madelyn

Dale, Madelyn and Tysone

Not sure if this will work, but here is a video of Andrew holding her.

She's Here!

Madelyn Marie made her debut at 2:02 p.m. She weighs in at 6 lbs and 10 oz
Dale had no idea how long she was, but he did know she had brownish red hair.

I'm jealous....a 6 hour labor and pushing for 10 minutes. I'm really happy for them and I'm sure Andrew will make a great big brother. I can't wait to see them together. I'll post pictures when I can.

The stork is making a pit stop!!

HA! Gotcha on that one, didn't I?

As of 6:20 a.m. this morning, we have a baby on the way. Ok, well, let me clarify that. My ex husband (the 1st one, not to confuse anyone) and his wife have one coming. Her water broke, they called me and off to the hospital they went. So, as of a few minutes ago, she is 2 cm dilated and getting situated in a room. Dale on the other hand is downstairs in the cafeteria eating breakfast. I told him at least he didn't eat in front of her like he did me.

Seems sort of funny that one of the first people they call would be me, his ex wife. But for all Dale and my arguing, we do get along pretty good 9 days out of 10. But it's the 10th day that shit hits the fan. I'm really excited for them and for Andrew. I hope everything goes quickly for Tysone and the baby is healthy. I wouldn't deny that to anyone, even my ex. If she happens to have her before school gets out, I am going to surprise Andrew and go pick him up, so he can meet his new sister. We also have a bet as to whether Steve will hold the new baby. So honey, don't make me lose a bet to a 9 year old.

So, as the day progresses, I'll be doing updates. Everyone pray for the safe arrival of a new life.

Tater Salad News

Whew, what a weekend. I hate for it to be over, but I can't wait until Friday.
On Friday, I get my annulment papers. But wait, you say, I thought you were getting a divorce? Yeah, well, so did I. Kevin unwittingly wrote in a letter that he and his ex wife were divorced while he was in prison and did not use a lawyer. Since it is state law that a lawyer represents him, their divorce is null and void. Which means my marriage of 6, almost 7 years was null and void and he is still legally married to her. I'm sure it is confusing to most, but what it boils down to is: I was never legally married to Kevin. She is being a total biatch about it, but whatever, it's not my problem. Yeah, for once I can say something is NOT my problem. Feels kinda weird to be able to say I have only been legally married once and that was over 10 years ago.

On to other news, I came through surgery with flying colors. I must say that I really like Valium. I thought I was awake during the surgery, but the nurse said I was out of it. Twilight anesthesia is what they call it. Anyway, I got to come home and they found that 3 out of the 4 margins came back clear of cancer. They cut until they find clean tissue. The 4th one was sent to pathology and they could not definitely say that it was cancer free, but from what they saw, it looked clear. Today, I'm kinda achy, but I'm ok. Steve seems to think I'm doing too much. As long as my guts don't fall out, I think I'll be o.k. One of my friends will be having surgery next week, so please keep her in your prayers that she will have a quick recovery.

Yesterday we went and found the house we want. It's within Andrew's school district; it has all the things we wanted in a home, plus a beautiful view. Yeah, the landscaping needs done, but I'd rather do that myself anyway. Or play supervisor while Steve does it. Anyway, I'm really, really excited. Now we have to make an offer and go from there. Hopefully we will be in there by summertime. Or before if we get lucky.

We also attended a baby shower. Not just any baby shower, but my ex husband's (Dale) and his wife's baby shower. Andrew will be having a little sister somewhere around June 22nd. My family still includes Dale as family so it's only natural that we give them a shower. Andrew seems to be getting excited about it. I think that will last until she wakes him up during the night. He's like me: don't disturb my sleep. And no fighting or nitpicking between Dale and Steve. Both were perfect gentlemen. I was rather impressed.

Well that is all the news from the basement house. Hope everyone is doing well and hopefully I'll catch up with everyone sometime this week!

Part II of the Report Card Saga

As expected, nothing is going to happen to my son. To me, this is the equivalent of saying "that's ok, you can continue on this path". What type of example is this setting for him? If he thinks he can get away with not putting forth his best effort now, what will he be like in 10 years? If he would put 1/2 the effort into his school work as he puts into his Nintendo, X-Box and Playstation, he would be doing great.
I do have to say that Tysone was on my side. She took away his games. But Dale just seemed to think it was ok and we would wait until mid term reports to come out and see how things are going. Then the best line of all came "well, I didn't like school, it only makes sense that he wouldn't either"...like I said earlier, stupidity at its finest.
I'm so frustrated. I feel as though I have NO say in this at all. Yet one more reason why he should be in one home and not jumping from house to house. It's out of my hands now. I guess we shall see what happens.
On the upside, he asked me when Steve & I are getting married (kinda jumping to conclusions there isn't he?) He has decided he really likes Steve and wants him to be part of our lives. I asked what he thought about me moving, and he said as long as he gets a bedroom, he won't mind. So, I'm in a much, much better mood now. I have my son's blessing with my new relationship and that makes everything seem better somehow.

The words f*ck it come to mind

Okay, well, I'm grumpy this evening. Thanks to the dumb ass I call my ex husband. Rarely, thank God, do I get grumpy and stay that way for long. But damn, it seems like I'm truly surrounded by idiots. Not only did I have to spend the day with my mother (whole other blog), but now I have to put up with idiocy at its finest. And those of you who know me, know I despise stupidity.

Got my kid's report card this evening and it was bad. Not only did my kid lie to me about what grades he made, the dumb ass (ex husband, not kid) doesn't want to do anything about the grades he made. He is on his way over here to "discuss" things. Ground the kid, make him do extra work in the evening, maybe make your wife who is a TEACHER help him. Do fucking something, don't just fricken' pretend it will get better. I was told "just because you are an over achiever doesn't mean you should push it off on your son" WTF? Expecting good (at least passing grades) makes me a bad person?

I am trying to decide on a punishment for the lying. I am also trying to hold my temper right now because I'm getting ready to go off on the next poor sap who happens to say something to me in the wrong tone. Damn it, I hate feeling like this. Andrew informs me the moon is full. He has decided that is what is wrong with me. I asked him if maybe, just maybe it could be the fact that he is doing so poorly in school and lying to me could be the reason? With a resounding "No" and an eye roll, he walks off to await his fate.

I say "fuck it", I'm gonna have this fight and go to bed. I've had my limit and someone else's too. Tomorrow will be a better day, so I have been told. God, I hope so.

Tale of Two Children

Since so many have asked what the deal is with my ex, I figured I'd write a blog about it. This is our edited, watered down story.

August 24th, 1984. This was the day I would meet my future husband. Little did I know what an impact he would make on my life. Would I change meeting him? Yes. Honestly, I can say that I would never have spoken to him had I only known.

It started on the school bus. He was the new boy in town. It started innocently enough, the "check yes or no" letters. I can't say that I liked him. It was more of an annoyance than anything else. But eventually he wore me down. We became friends. He was a year older than I, a lot more experienced in life and quickly taught me the ropes, along with corrupting me. Not that I minded. We soon transitioned into intermediate school, now I guess they call it middle school. By this time, we were sexually active. Now, imagine your pre-teen being sexually active. You'd freak out. Hell, I'd freak out. But somehow, it didn't seem like a big deal to us. We used it as a "get away" from the life we both lived. His mother constantly changed boyfriends/husbands, he had no real father, he ran with a bad crowd and he was constantly in trouble. I was the good little girl who did no wrong in most people's eyes. My family life wasn't much better, the only exception being my parents were together at that time. We would meet and hide and talk for hours about how bad it sucked to be us. And what we would do when we grew up and children of our own. We knew at the tender ages of 9 & 10 that one day we would marry. This continued until high school. I will say that Kevin got me through some of the toughest years of my life. We went through life, death, rape, physical and mental abuse together.

At the age of 14, I met another "man", Dale, the father of my son, Andrew and my first husband. Even though I loved Kev with everything I had, I wanted Dale. Come to find out, the day I told him that it was through, he told me he had gotten a girl pregnant and was getting married. So, this was the beginning of the end. He married a girl named Angel in December. I began dating Dale. Fast forward to my senior year. He shows up on my door step. Of course, I didn't turn him away. That was my problem, I never could turn Kevin away. We caught up on old times and by this time, he had 2 sons, Justin & Billy. Over the years, he continued to pop up in my life when I least expected it.

July 4^th, 1997. The carnival. I took my little sisters to it. There he was. It had been 2 years. He had remarried, had another child, a daughter this time, Mary. I was yet to be married. I was more worried about my "career and education" than marriage. I left with him that night. I spent the entire summer with him. On August 17, 1997, by mutual agreement, I went back to Dale, he went back to salvage his marriage and be with his daughter. Again, fast forward to January 20, 1998, my son, Andrew Thomas was born. I brought him home and 2 days later, Kevin saw him for the first time. Dale never knew.
On August 17^th, 1998, Dale & I married. The reason? My insurance was going to run out from a COBRA policy. I needed insurance. So we married. On December 15^th, he left me. I won't go into details, as this is Kevin's story.

I moved on with my life. December 24^th, 1998, I got a call. It was Kevin, he was in jail and please don't let him spend Christmas Eve in jail. I didn't. This was to be the first of many, many times I would bail him out. I believe it was early May 1999 he was sent to prison the first time.

June 8^th, 2001, he was due to be released. Having sent letters back & forth for 2 years, I was ready for him to come home. I mistakenly thought I could be his salvation. I could change him. On August 24^th, 2001, we were sitting in my bedroom talking, and realized that it had been 17 years since the day we met. We talked about how mad my family would be if I married "that boy" (a nickname that has stuck with him to this day). We decided to get married. This was at 3 p.m. By 8 p.m., we were married; all to spite my family. Finally, my "dream" had come true. In reality, the nightmare had just begun.

All of this sounds so sweet and "aww, you married your childhood sweetheart". No, I married a crack head. Again to save time and painful memories, I'll just skim over the major parts. Kev was a journeyman welder, and a damn good one. On his way to becoming a welder inspector (would still like to see that happen). We traveled and moved every 90 days until 2004. In 2004, we settled back down here. It started up again. Leaving for days, money gone from the bank account, the excuses, the "I'm sorry, I'll never do it again" and jail time. Finally last year, it was the final straw. As much as I loved Kevin, he has bled me to death. I had no money left, I had no self esteem, I was a broken person. Trying to live with a drug addict will eventually led to your death. I kicked him out. Since that time, he has been tried and convicted once more and will do somewhere around 4 years in prison.

There is so much more I could say, I could tell you about the knives being held to my throat, I could tell you about the copious amounts of crack and powder in my home, the multiple times the police came to my house with search dogs, fights with drug dealers, being followed, questioned by the ATF. So many things that I look back now and think "oh my God, how did I live through that?" I will tell you one thing. My son NEVER knew that Kevin did drugs. If nothing else, I protected my son. I may have been through hell and back but my son has not.

So, when asked tonight about August 24^th, 1984, this was the reason. Yes, I would change it, I would have never spoke to that boy had I known it would change my life forever.

Today, I got a letter, he's finally letting go. After 20+ years of being my best friend, he's letting go. Am I sad? No. I'm glad I finally came to my senses and got out while the getting was good. Will I ever forget? No, he was my life. Do I still love him? Yes but not as a wife should love a husband. More as a friend loves a friend. Will I ever go back? I will end this with an absolute HELL NO. I would spend the rest of my life alone before I would go back to the depths of hell that I just pulled myself out of.