interesting night

umm, I have been up all night, talking. I got a lot of feedback on what has been happening around here lately. A lot of it made sense, now that I think about it and get a third party's opinion. Although, he maintains I was "in lust" and I maintain "love", what he said did make a lot of sense. To meet someone in one day, talk to them all night and then have them make you realize everything you thought was bullshit, truly is not, is a very strange experience. Especially coming from a young guy with little experience in relationships. I guess that is what I get for meeting someone who has studied freakin' psychology. Only me.

Andrew was up and down most of the night again, coughing. He finally went into a peaceful enough sleep around 3. He said he was staying home from school today. Yeah, right, I don't think sooooooo. 'Cause his Mama is tired and is going to take his tiny hiney to school and come home & fall into the bed.
Lord what a night, all my thoughts are being reprocessed with all this new information. Then to have someone else confirm what I was thinking anyway about the casual sex part has just blown my mind. Ok, so if less than a month of having sex with someone is considered casual to most guys, I would hate to see the time length for non casual sex.


Ok, off to take a shower and get my little man up and ready for school. More later...

To Everyone Who Reads My Blog

Out of respect for my friend, I will no longer be discussing our relationship in any way. If you ever feel the need for information, however, feel free to contact me, I'm sure I can fill you in.

To all my other friends, a huge thank you for hanging in there with me these last few weeks. Those who know me well, know I have another online blog that is updated as much as possible. You can keep up with it, it is uncensored, lol.

I love you all and thank you for your friendship, phone calls, comments and email.

Platonic Relationships

I must have a freakin' radar on me that send out signals when I suddenly become single. My mom has always said I had a neon light hanging over my head that said "freak magnet", well, that little light got turned off and now I'm working off of a damn radar.

How do they know? The one person I want to know how I feel is Gary. At this point, he is the only guy that I want to know any of my feelings. But it's nice to know that all the other ones still care.

On to the original topic. Everyone wants to know how I can maintain a platonic relationship with guys. Well, it's pretty simple in my eyes. There are a lot of really nice guys out there who simply are unavailable or I'm not attracted to. But that doesn't mean they cannot be my friends. Just because I am friends with a man, does not constitute a sexual relationship, even if there was one previously. I was told recently some very good advice, stay away from friends as potential mates. I have always been friends first with the men I have had relationships with. I guess my problem is I ended up in relationships with 2 of them, sadly neither who can claim the title of being the love of my life, soulmate, etc. And the other one, well, we all see what happened there. Although I can't say we were friends for a long time like Tim & I or Kevin & I, I can say we were very close. He knows things about me that no other man ever has.

This morning, I get a knock on the door. It was one of my oldest friends, haven't seen him in a while. It was as if we had never missed a beat. They say friendship is best shared over coffee and all that crap, bullshit, give me some sweet tea, a pack of cigarettes and I'm good to go. He has changed a lot. Gotten older, I guess. I was surprised to learn he is 44. He kept telling me I had a glow. We got the giggles over that one, 'cause I kept telling him it was the sun. He said he was serious and told me my eyes lit up when I talked about what my life has been like up until yesterday. Yet another reason why I like my male friends. They don't bullshit you on your looks. If you look like hell, they tell you. He told me I had dark circles under my eyes. LMAO, something every girl wants to hear at 10 am in the morning. He likes my hair long, he has decided. I was thinking about going ahead and getting it cut off to one length, but so far 2 people have threatened me with bodily harm if I do so. On that note, I believe I'll let it grow some more.
But I digress...a friend of mine asked me last night, how do you know if it's a strictly platonic friendship? Well, there is no sex involved is the first "rule" I have. They even attempt the break that rule, they are gone. I am not easy and I do not give my body to just anyone. Second, they treat you like one of the guys. And this seems to bother a lot of women. I guess it's a lot easier on me growing up with two brothers, then having a younger one. We can sit and talk about everything from guns to bragging about the deer we have seen. And that is cool with me. And last and most important, they listen. Most women kinda listen and then give you some fluffy bullshit answer they think you want to hear. Not guys, nope, they can be brutal.

So my question to all my friends, do you believe in platonic friendships? Can they happen? Do you believe former lovers can be involved in a platonic friendship?

If A Man Wants You

In light of what has been going on here lately, I think this is pretty good advice. It came from a special friend on a message board who has always been there to listen to my rants, raves and boo hooing. Thanks for the reminder Jovi!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...
compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

No, But thanks anyway

I can officially now say that yesterday sucked a big one. Thank God it is over and in the history books. So, on to the purpose of this, and yes, this one will serve a purpose.

If you haven't sent me a message saying anything to the effect of "babe, ur hot" or any of that shit, you can skip this and go to the part in blue. If you did, stop now and read below.

To those who seem to think it is ok to just randomly say shit to people on myspace, this is for you. NO, the song on my page is not intended to describe me and does not constitute a "hit me back or holla at me". If I had wanted to talk to you, I probably would have seeked you out. So, for those who do not know the lyrics, here they are. Below are the reasons why I chose this particular song. In another text color are the words that grabbed my attention. Stop here if you really could give two shits about it.

N: Am i throwing you off?
Nope
N: Didnt think so
How you doin Nelly
That feelin that you givin really drivin' me crazy
You dont haveta play about the joke
I was at a loss of words first time that we spoke
N:If you looking for a girl thatll treat you right
If you lookin for her in the day time with the light
You might be the type if I play my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night
N: You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it
All I can do is try, gimme one chance
Whats the problem I dont see no ring on your hand
I be the first to admit it, Im curious about you, you seem so innocent
N: You wanna get in my world, get lost in it
Boy Im tired of running, lets walk for a minute
Chorus-
Promiscuous girl
Wherever you are
Im all alone
And it's you that I want
N: Promiscuous boy
You already know
That Im all yours
What you waiting for?
Promiscuous girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need
N: Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?
Verse-
N: Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead
But you're still kinda cute
Hey! I can't keep my mind off you
Where you at, do you mind if I come through
N: Im out of this world come with me to my planet
Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it?
They call me Thomas
last name Crown
Recognize game
I'm a lay mine's down
N: I'm a big girl I can handle myself
But if I get lonely Ima need your help
Pay attention to me I don't talk for my health
I want you on my team
N: So does everybody else.
Baby we can keep it on the low
Let your guard down aint nobody gotta know
If you with it girl I know a place we can go
N: What kind of girl do you take me for?

N: Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?
Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean
Hey! Don't be mad, don't get mean
N: Don't get mad, don't be mean
Wait! I don't mean no harm
I can see you with my t-shirt on
I can see you with nothing on
feeling on me before you bring that on
Bring that on
N: You know what I mean
Girl, Im a freak you shouldn't say those things
Im only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say
It's okay, it's alright
I got something that you gon' like
Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash
Chorus-
Promiscuous Girl
Wherever you are
Im all alone
And its you that I want
N: Promiscuous Boy
I'm calling your name
But you're driving me crazy
The way you're making me wait
Promiscuous Girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need
N: Promiscuous Boy
We're one in the same
So we don't gotta play games no more

If you are still with me and hopefully you are, know that these words were meant for one person in particular, I think he knows who he is. This was not intended to be an advertisement. And on to the next question that I get so frequently asked, do I look like my default picture??? If you are that fucking dumb that you can not go into my pics and look at them, then, yeah, I sure as hell do look like her. And that is my dog, Fido.

To all my other dear friends, I hope all is well in your corner of the world, as I said before, mine sucked yesterday, but all is right in Amieland for now. Do I expect it to stay this way? Nope, but for now, it's all good. Taking it one day at a time and that is all I can do for now. For those of you who know me personally, you will be very proud of me. I was offered the man from Hell's new phone number, but didn't take it (see Tammy, I wouldn't chase him to the end of the earth, lol), and I didn't give him mine. Fucker had the nerve to show up, but hey at that point, I was so stressed, the door got slammed in his face, so I'm assuming, unless he is a fucktard, he got the point.

I just want to say a special thank you to a friend of mine who was my sounding board last night. Thank you, you went above and beyond the call of duty as a friend. I'm sorry you had a hysterical woman on your hands. I did forewarn you that I cried when I got mad. You have made me laugh over the last few weeks and I enjoy our long talks, even if we kill the batteries on every phone we both own. Thanks. I owe you one.

Idiots explain it all

Well, this just explains it all, does it???? HMMM, so all these years I thought my height was just for my good looks *rolling eyes since the freaking smileys won't work*

They totally screwed up on the better health part for me...damn, why couldn't I have been a participant? And where do they get these people???

Taller people are smarter: study

Fri Aug 25, 5:53 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - While researchers have long shown that tall people earn more than their shorter counterparts, it's not only social discrimination that accounts for this inequality -- tall people are just smarter than their height-challenged peers, a new study finds. .. "As early as age three -- before schooling has had a chance to play a role -- and throughout childhood, taller children perform significantly better on cognitive tests," wrote Anne Case and Christina Paxson of Princeton University in a paper published by the National Bureau of Economic Research.

The findings were based primarily on two British studies that followed children born in 1958 and 1970, respectively, through adulthood and a U.S. study on height and occupational choice.

Other studies have pointed to low self-esteem, better health that accompanies greater height, and social discrimination as culprits for lower pay for shorter people.

But researchers Case and Paxson believe the height advantage in the job world is more than just a question of image.

"As adults, taller individuals are more likely to select into higher paying occupations that require more advanced verbal and numerical skills and greater intelligence, for which they earn handsome returns," they wrote.

For both men and women in the United States and the United Kingdom, a height advantage of four inches equated with a 10 percent increase in wages on average.

But the researchers said the differences in performance crop up long before the tall people enter the job force. Prenatal care and the time between birth and the age of 3 are critical periods for determining future cognitive ability and height.

"The speed of growth is more rapid during this period than at any other during the life course, and nutritional needs are greatest at this point," the researchers wrote.

The research confirms previous studies that show that early nutrition is an important predictor of intelligence and height.

"Prenatal care and prenatal nutrition are just incredibly important, even more so than we already knew," Case said in an interview.

Since the study's data only included populations in the United Kingdom and the United States, the findings could not be applied to other regions, Case said.

And how tall are the researchers?

They are both about 5 feet 8 inches tall, well above the average height of 5 feet 4 inches for American women.

A copy of the paper can be found at http://papers.nber.org/papers/w12466.pdf.

Things are not always what they seem

Today, I got a shock. The two people I had always looked up to as far as relationships go, have separated. I have always tried to model my relationships after this couple, because they were simply..perfect, or so it seemed.

Over 40 years ago, they met at a bank. He took her out 5 days later. They stayed out too late, and was afraid to go home, so they eloped. Very much like my grandparents marriage. They have 3 beautiful daughters, all who are now married and spread across the Eastern Seaboard, living their own lives. They have always lived the American dream. Until 2 years ago, when he was severely burned on the job. After months of intense therapy, he was allowed to come home. They began to live for each day and as they told me, "live for each other". Sadly, he slowly became addicted to painkillers, in order to function, do daily things we take for granted. Friday night, he had drank too much wine, and took too many painkillers. In the heat of the moment, he called her hurtful names. Never in the history of their marriage had he so much as even said a cross word to her. She packed her clothes and left.

On August 24th, it will be the anniversary of the day we met, 23 years ago, it will also be his sentencing day, to find out long he will serve in prison for his addiction to drugs.

I guess I really did model my marriage after this couple, didn't I? Funny how things work out. I am praying they will work things out, praying he will overcome his addiction and praying that Kevin will not be gone the rest of my adult life.