Saturday, September 30, 2006

To Everyone Who Reads My Blog

Out of respect for my friend, I will no longer be discussing our relationship in any way. If you ever feel the need for information, however, feel free to contact me, I'm sure I can fill you in.

To all my other friends, a huge thank you for hanging in there with me these last few weeks. Those who know me well, know I have another online blog that is updated as much as possible. You can keep up with it, it is uncensored, lol.

I love you all and thank you for your friendship, phone calls, comments and email.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Platonic Relationships

I must have a freakin' radar on me that send out signals when I suddenly become single. My mom has always said I had a neon light hanging over my head that said "freak magnet", well, that little light got turned off and now I'm working off of a damn radar.

How do they know? The one person I want to know how I feel is Gary. At this point, he is the only guy that I want to know any of my feelings. But it's nice to know that all the other ones still care.

On to the original topic. Everyone wants to know how I can maintain a platonic relationship with guys. Well, it's pretty simple in my eyes. There are a lot of really nice guys out there who simply are unavailable or I'm not attracted to. But that doesn't mean they cannot be my friends. Just because I am friends with a man, does not constitute a sexual relationship, even if there was one previously. I was told recently some very good advice, stay away from friends as potential mates. I have always been friends first with the men I have had relationships with. I guess my problem is I ended up in relationships with 2 of them, sadly neither who can claim the title of being the love of my life, soulmate, etc. And the other one, well, we all see what happened there. Although I can't say we were friends for a long time like Tim & I or Kevin & I, I can say we were very close. He knows things about me that no other man ever has.

This morning, I get a knock on the door. It was one of my oldest friends, haven't seen him in a while. It was as if we had never missed a beat. They say friendship is best shared over coffee and all that crap, bullshit, give me some sweet tea, a pack of cigarettes and I'm good to go. He has changed a lot. Gotten older, I guess. I was surprised to learn he is 44. He kept telling me I had a glow. We got the giggles over that one, 'cause I kept telling him it was the sun. He said he was serious and told me my eyes lit up when I talked about what my life has been like up until yesterday. Yet another reason why I like my male friends. They don't bullshit you on your looks. If you look like hell, they tell you. He told me I had dark circles under my eyes. LMAO, something every girl wants to hear at 10 am in the morning. He likes my hair long, he has decided. I was thinking about going ahead and getting it cut off to one length, but so far 2 people have threatened me with bodily harm if I do so. On that note, I believe I'll let it grow some more.
But I digress...a friend of mine asked me last night, how do you know if it's a strictly platonic friendship? Well, there is no sex involved is the first "rule" I have. They even attempt the break that rule, they are gone. I am not easy and I do not give my body to just anyone. Second, they treat you like one of the guys. And this seems to bother a lot of women. I guess it's a lot easier on me growing up with two brothers, then having a younger one. We can sit and talk about everything from guns to bragging about the deer we have seen. And that is cool with me. And last and most important, they listen. Most women kinda listen and then give you some fluffy bullshit answer they think you want to hear. Not guys, nope, they can be brutal.

So my question to all my friends, do you believe in platonic friendships? Can they happen? Do you believe former lovers can be involved in a platonic friendship?

Sunday, September 10, 2006

If A Man Wants You

In light of what has been going on here lately, I think this is pretty good advice. It came from a special friend on a message board who has always been there to listen to my rants, raves and boo hooing. Thanks for the reminder Jovi!

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better."
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord!? If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...
compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies..... You'll make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices, and another woman PREPARE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.