Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Goodbye says it all


Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me...

Tomorrow, I am going to go say goodbye. I look back at the last 2 and a half years and wonder, is there something I could have done to change things? Is there any reason or logic behind trying to change someone other than for your own personal gain?

I haven't heard his voice in almost a year, not in a way I normally would have heard it. I wonder if I can hold it together long enough to say what I need to say. I need closure. I want him to know that life does go on. I honestly believed at one time it did not. I depended on him as much as the oxygen I breath. At times I felt strangled by the hold he has on me. Some days I wonder if he still doesn't.

By now, I thought I would be well on my way to recovering my life. Somewhere along the way there was a set back. I don't feel as though I can go on until I have said what I need to say. There are so many bottled up emotions. Who to turn to? Certainly not the one who destroyed me. Not the one who loves me with all his heart. So I keep it inside and wait. I feel it ticking like a clock. Tomorrow will be the day I finally let it all out.

When all is said and done, I want to walk away into arms that don't deceive me, a heart that loves me and a man who deserves so much more than what I could ever give him.

Monday, September 24, 2007

My clone (with pics)

Last Thursday Andrew and I were pulling out of the parking lot of his school. He hands me a wadded up piece of paper. Below are the pictures. My son's first "love note", isn't that sweet? Today he informs me that he didn't want to hurt her feelings, but she was acting like an idiot, so he dumped her. Hmm, he's already following in my footsteps.

Over the weekend, he had to go get glasses. He's in the 4th grade; same as I was when I got my first pair. Since he is active in sports, we are going to get him contacts in January. He also is getting ready to get his first set of braces. I swear it seems like everything happened over the weekend. My son grew up. ***sigh***

Anyway, here are the pictures. Thanks to everyone for being concerned about my almost, thank God it didn't happen car accident.

I could not deny this child even if I wanted too!!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Wipe Out

Over the years, I have learned a lot of lessons, rarely has one made me make an immediate change in my lifestyle. Yesterday we finally got some much-needed rain. But it was the type of rain where it was a mist rather than a drizzle, just enough to make you need your intermittent wipers. Traffic was horrible, so I decided I would take the shortcut over to the post office.

Once I was off the main road, I grabbed my phone and called my sister. Not thinking much about it, I continued along the road rambling on as I always do. There is a curve in the road as you go down a hill. You can also turn into a parking lot where there is a water mill. This turn is in the curve, once you start to straighten out from the kiss-your-ass-curve, there is a bridge and the road starts to straighten out a little more. The speed limit sign says 25 mpg, with good reason. I begin to brake as I am coming down the hill and suddenly I realize that nothing is happening. Then it hits me that I am in a full skid. I know I screamed to my sister that I was skidding and threw the phone. I tried to remember if I was supposed to go with the skid or try to correct it. The Jeep goes sideways down the hill and rather than taking the curve, it went sideways into the turnoff and lands perfectly next to a parked car. I don't remember much other than thinking to myself "OMG, I have NO one to call". I was thinking okay, I'm not driving anymore, this is my sign to hang it up and stop driving.

Normally, I am an excellent driver (if I do say so myself). However, with the combination of talking on the cell phone, excessive speed in a curve and rain bringing the oils out onto the asphalt, it was a dangerous combination. A combination I'm not willing to take again. I have only been involved in one accident and that was an 80 yr old lady T boning my sister's car while running a red light. That incident scared me enough that I didn't drive for close to a year.

I don't know which guardian angel was with me yesterday but whoever it was, I thank them. I learned the hard way why you should hang up and drive. So easily I could have flipped the Jeep and messed myself up pretty good. From now on, I think I'll stick to keeping both hands on the wheel rather than trying to pretend I'm a NASCAR driver. What should have been a left hand curve turned into a right hand park, backwards no less. Oh yeah, I found the phone in the backseat and I am still trying to pull the cotton out of my ass.

Monday, September 10, 2007


I swiped this from List Verse and here is my take on them.

According to the dictionary, Superstition is an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear. There are superstitions for almost all aspects of our daily lives and most have unknown origins. Sometimes they are logical (for example, don't walk under a ladder) but most of the time they are ridiculous. Some people can become controlled by their superstitions (such as the fear of walking on cracks) which is very unhealthy. Here is a list of 20 weird superstitions.

1. A bird in the house is a sign of a death. This one my family believes in. Maybe because when all 3 of my grandparents died, a bird had been in the house within a week or so before their death.

2. A loaf of bread should never be turned upside down after a slice has been cut from it. Umm, we buy presliced bread and what happens if you do turn it upside down?

3. Never take a broom along when you move. Throw it out and buy a new one. Oops, well, does it count if I left mine at my old house?

4. If the first butterfly you see in the year is white, you will have good luck all year.Do moths count? 'cause most of the time I can't tell the difference. I call B/S on this one.

5. If a black cat walks towards you, it brings good fortune, but if it walks away, it takes the good luck with it. Well, I just figure out what my problem is. I have 2 black cats, that explains it all right there.

6. An acorn at the window will keep lightning out. Never heard of this one, wonder if you have to put them in all the windows or just one?

7. A dog howling at night when someone in the house is sick is a bad omen. Never heard of this one either. Although I'm not sure I could hear the sounds of a dog howling if someone was getting sick. I'm sure their retching would drown out all sound.

8. It's bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one used to come into it. Yeah, our family believes in this one too. Although I can't say that it has made a huge impact on my life.

9. A horseshoe hung in the bedroom will keep nightmares away. Another oops, ours is overtop the doorway in the foyer. Besides I have dreamcatchers for the nightmares.

10. If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn you will not catch a cold all winter. What happens if you catch the first snowflake?

11. If a mirror in the house falls and breaks by itself, someone in the house will die soon. Never heard of this one either, but I know if your Grandma's picture falls, you better watch out, she ain't happy with you. In fact, Grandma fell off the wall so many times at my house, I finally just took her picture down.

12. Dropping an umbrella on the floor means that there will be a murder in the house. I wonder if someone's head is between the umbrella and the floor is the reason there would be a murder?

13. All windows should be opened at the moment of death so that the soul can leave. If you keep the window open, they will catch their death of cold and die anyway, so what is the point in freezing the whole house? And besides that, we aren't heating all of Botetourt, now are we?

14. If the groom drops the wedding band during the ceremony, the marriage is doomed. Hmm, yet another answer to my quest for the reason my marriage didn't work out.

15. To dream of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy. Nope, I know all my enemies, no need for them to remain a secret.

16. If a friend gives you a knife, you should give him a coin, or your friendship will soon be broken. The only knife I've ever been given by a friend was one in the back, so I guess this one is true.

17. You should never start a trip on Friday or you will meet misfortune.Especially if it's a Friday the 13th.

18. Dream of running: a sign of a big change in your life. I always remember chasing someone while running, so not sure if this one is true or not.

19. If a clock which has not been working suddenly chimes, there will be a death in the family. Thank goodness there are no clocks with chimes in our house.

20. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match. I only smoke 1 cigarette at a time and I use a zippo, so I think I'm good on this one.

And one that Steve and I just had happen:

If you open a knife, then you have to close it or you will cut yourself. He didn't know about that one, good thing I caught him, I don't need any more bad luck.

Sorry, had to edit it so everyone could read it!