Monday, April 30, 2007

Drug induced thoughts

I think I have brain fog or something like that. I swear, I can't make a coherent sentence when talking to save my life.

Anyway, I just spoke to Dale, who is going to take care of Andrew for me this week. I'm sure this will come back to bite me in the butt. He was really nice about it, but I have this feeling that in return, either I'll have to deprogram my kid or somehow pay Dale back. I just don't feel like trying to chase the kid around, nor do I feel like fighting and fussing with him. I feel like such a bad mother.

On to other things, we are closer to getting our house. Hopefully, on Friday, we will know something more. It's so complicated. I wish we could just say "we'll pay this much" and they accept the check. But no, we have to go through appraisals and deed searches and who knows what else. But it will be worth it in the end. I can't wait. I can see us in this house. I can finally think about the future, something I haven't done for years and years.

I got a really nice surprise today; Steve got me a Coach bag. If you don't know what those are, go here: Coach

Mine is one of the Campton's Weekend Bags and it has a matching wallet. Pretty cool. I already collect Etienne Aigner bags. (Again here: Aigner) I think last count, I had 7 of those with 3 of the wallets. So, I might start collecting Coach, since this makes my 2ndone. What an expensive hobby. But he has his guns; I have my bags and shoes. Poor Steve, next week is his birthday and he got me a gift.

On to other news, Virginia's Governor Tim Kaine signed an order to make sure mentally ill people cannot purchase guns. Pretty much what it is saying is if a court has ever issued you to get mental help or you have been remanded into a mental health facility, you can't purchase a gun. So, my question was, what if you were court ordered to a facility due to drug use? Well, I got my answer. That is not considered "mental illness." Pppfftt. Whew, now all us former drug addicts can still purchase guns to protect ourselves from the other drug users in our lives.
And while he's at it, will he tell my insurance company that drug use is not a mental illness? Because according to ICD-9/10, it is a mental illness. I'll step down off my soapbox now, 'cause that is a whole other subject.

Well, I'm off to lala land, a place where I have stayed for most of the day. More soon, hopefully, not drug induced ramblings.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Tater Salad News

Whew, what a weekend. I hate for it to be over, but I can't wait until Friday.
On Friday, I get my annulment papers. But wait, you say, I thought you were getting a divorce? Yeah, well, so did I. Kevin unwittingly wrote in a letter that he and his ex wife were divorced while he was in prison and did not use a lawyer. Since it is state law that a lawyer represents him, their divorce is null and void. Which means my marriage of 6, almost 7 years was null and void and he is still legally married to her. I'm sure it is confusing to most, but what it boils down to is: I was never legally married to Kevin. She is being a total biatch about it, but whatever, it's not my problem. Yeah, for once I can say something is NOT my problem. Feels kinda weird to be able to say I have only been legally married once and that was over 10 years ago.

On to other news, I came through surgery with flying colors. I must say that I really like Valium. I thought I was awake during the surgery, but the nurse said I was out of it. Twilight anesthesia is what they call it. Anyway, I got to come home and they found that 3 out of the 4 margins came back clear of cancer. They cut until they find clean tissue. The 4th one was sent to pathology and they could not definitely say that it was cancer free, but from what they saw, it looked clear. Today, I'm kinda achy, but I'm ok. Steve seems to think I'm doing too much. As long as my guts don't fall out, I think I'll be o.k. One of my friends will be having surgery next week, so please keep her in your prayers that she will have a quick recovery.

Yesterday we went and found the house we want. It's within Andrew's school district; it has all the things we wanted in a home, plus a beautiful view. Yeah, the landscaping needs done, but I'd rather do that myself anyway. Or play supervisor while Steve does it. Anyway, I'm really, really excited. Now we have to make an offer and go from there. Hopefully we will be in there by summertime. Or before if we get lucky.

We also attended a baby shower. Not just any baby shower, but my ex husband's (Dale) and his wife's baby shower. Andrew will be having a little sister somewhere around June 22nd. My family still includes Dale as family so it's only natural that we give them a shower. Andrew seems to be getting excited about it. I think that will last until she wakes him up during the night. He's like me: don't disturb my sleep. And no fighting or nitpicking between Dale and Steve. Both were perfect gentlemen. I was rather impressed.

Well that is all the news from the basement house. Hope everyone is doing well and hopefully I'll catch up with everyone sometime this week!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

A kid with a new toy

For the first time in my life, I am what I consider stable. Stable as in:
my relationship with Steve
my relationship with my son
emotionally (yeah, I have my days, but who doesn't)
In the past, stable = predictable. I didn't like predictable. I like being able to get up, jump in the Miata and just go. Go where? Anywhere. Away from my life. Away from the day to day stressors that come along with being an adult. I am the one who used to run when the going got tough. First time there was a sign of trouble, I was gone. Literally. Whether it be a relationship, family problems or emotional. If I could not physically leave, I would make sure I self medicated enough to mentally leave.

When I enter into a relationship, most of the time, it's all about the intense feelings that come with being infatuated with someone. If you've ever done drugs, you know what I'm talking about. You continually chase that first high. But, like a kid with a new toy, those feelings wear off. Being the shallow person that I am, I can admit, it takes a lot to keep me interested. Yes, I can withstand a long term relationship, in fact that is all I have ever had. Sure, I have dated and had my share of flings, but oddly enough, even that did not give me the feeling of elation that I wanted. It only left me wonder what was next. So again, I would run.

So once Kevin was gone for good this time. I decided that I wasn't going to get involved with any more men. I was going to stay single. Yeah, well that lasted all of about 10 months. And the first man I met was so much like the sober Kevin, I clung to him. Thank God he had the good sense to point that out to me. So, we ended up being pretty good friends. I haven't talked to him in a while, but I know that if I need to unload he's there for me. I do consider him one of my best friends.

And then there is Steve. My world got turned completely upside down on that one. I wasn't looking, I was scared and I was tired of being hurt.
It took a while, but I started to realize that I was looking forward to his calls, little emails saying hey. The new toy (sorry baby) feeling didn't go away as I expected it to. It's been 7 months now and I still feel like the kid with the new toy. It's like the triple shake from McDonald's, shake it up, and you never know what you are gonna get, but whatever it is, it's good.

Over the last month, I have realized that stable = predictable is a good thing. I like knowing that on Thursdays, we will see each other, on Fridays, I go to his house, Saturdays and Sundays we just hang out and maybe visit family. For once in my life, I don't want to run. Yes, I have felt the need to run, but not because of him. Never because of him. It's always been outside influences that have made me want to bolt. But knowing that I would lose possibly the best thing that ever happened to me, I realize it's not worth it.

So why am I rambling, probably making no sense whatsoever? Because someone close to me has decided to have an affair. Possibly ruining the best thing in their life. It almost breaks my heart, knowing that this person could lose what took so many years to build. And for what? Meaningless sex? Ppfftt on that. So, before you (and not that any of my readers would) decide to go out and have a fling, step back and remember that new toy feeling. Reach down deep inside and find that feeling again, don't risk it all over something that will fade away in a few weeks anyway.

Coming from me, the person who was once morally corrupt when it came to faithfulness, it truly is not worth the risk.

Stable = predictable, sounds pretty good to me. And one of the best parts? I now have someone to jump in the Miata and go with me and that in itself is a really good feeling.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Live like you were dying?

How do you know when to start living like you were dying? When do you consciously decide, "ok, I'm done with life, I'm just waiting to die"?
The following is a conversation I just had with a guy I haven't spoken to since November. He crossed the line and wanted more than what I willing to give. So, I blew him off and hadn't talked to him. Now he has decided his life is over and done with.

L (4/24/2007 11:22:44 PM): an island called insenchion
Amie (4/24/2007 11:23:01 PM): hmm, never heard of it. why would you move out of the country?
L (4/24/2007 11:23:52 PM): im ready to leave this place, bored out of my mind, tired of being bored, ready to try somthing new
Amie (4/24/2007 11:24:05 PM): yeah, I understand that
Amie (4/24/2007 11:27:59 PM): I can't believe you might leave the country, wow, that's a huge decision
L (4/24/2007 11:29:26 PM): yea my life is a bore, work and go home
Amie (4/24/2007 11:29:36 PM): you aren't dating anyone now?
L (4/24/2007 11:30:04 PM): july will be a year since i have been with a woman lol
Amie (4/24/2007 11:30:18 PM): oh my, TMI
L (4/24/2007 11:31:18 PM): hell i gained 10 pounds, no women look at me any more i just gave up on that, no bigee
L (4/24/2007 11:33:55 PM): if i can get jessi raised, and doing good for herself, and will gets out and does good in life, hell ile be ready for the end.
Amie (4/24/2007 11:34:09 PM): you make yourself sound so old
Amie (4/24/2007 11:34:42 PM): I've got mine half raised, lol, I've got 9 more years
L (4/24/2007 11:34:53 PM): no lol as long as my kids are doing well, and on their on, i dont care to be hear any more
Amie (4/24/2007 11:35:09 PM): well that's one way to look at it.
L (4/24/2007 11:35:28 PM): just dont give a damn any more
Amie (4/24/2007 11:36:01 PM): hell, after the crap I have been through over the last few months, I'll be happy to have my kid raised and see him be an adult.
L (4/24/2007 11:36:17 PM): lol
L (4/24/2007 11:39:25 PM): you have a good attitude about life, i hope you live it to the fulliest
L (4/24/2007 11:39:41 PM): me ........ im done
Amie (4/24/2007 11:39:54 PM): I'm trying to, shouldn't think like that, you are too young
L (4/24/2007 11:40:38 PM): to old to start somthing and have somthing, so..................
Amie (4/24/2007 11:41:26 PM): you are never too old. Hell, I'm 33 and just now getting the degree I've been trying to get since I graduated college the last time, I'm buying another home, hell if that ain't starting over, I don't know what is
L (4/24/2007 11:42:04 PM): you are still young, im old
Amie (4/24/2007 11:42:13 PM): how old are you now?
L (4/24/2007 11:42:17 PM): 45
Amie (4/24/2007 11:42:45 PM): and you consider that old? Come on, you are just getting started!! Especially if you get to move
L (4/24/2007 11:42:57 PM): 46 in june
L (4/24/2007 11:44:37 PM): i figure if i go over there and work 5 to 10 years i can send jess thru coll, then my job is thru
Amie (4/24/2007 11:45:07 PM): you never know, you may find the love of your life between now and then, will you be ready to go then?
L (4/24/2007 11:45:27 PM): im struck out
Amie (4/24/2007 11:46:12 PM): i thought I was too, hell, you know my track record with men, I suck at relationships
L (4/24/2007 11:46:48 PM): i had it but lost it
Amie (4/24/2007 11:47:02 PM): well, go get it back
L (4/24/2007 11:47:12 PM): to late
Amie (4/24/2007 11:47:20 PM): why is it too late?
L (4/24/2007 11:47:33 PM): she is in love with someone
L(4/24/2007 11:50:04 PM): well i guess im going to go to bed always remember that i will always be your freind
Amie (4/24/2007 11:50:21 PM): i know you will, talk to you soon

Some of that was edited for content, but you get the general idea. This guy is 45 years old and ready to die as soon as his daughter is raised. All because he doesn't have "the love of his life" anymore.

Is that a reason to stop living? I have seen couples that literally will themselves to die because their mate dies. One woman in particular sat in her rocking chair and just waited to die, only eating and sleeping. She followed her husband within months.

I guess because I have Andrew and want to see him raise his children, I can't imagine "giving up" so easily or being so young. I feel like in some way, I failed to give my friend any sort of advice or comfort. I also feel as though the friendship is over in a way. Although he IM'd me, I felt as though he didn't really want to know what was going on in my life.

I don't know what to think about him. It makes me seriously wonder when do you know you are done in life? I can understand being tired of life, but completely giving up? That I cannot imagine. Yes, I will admit, at one time, I thought I couldn't live without someone. But that was because of co-dependency, not love. My thoughts on hanging onto life have changed dramatically since I have "grown up." It's a shame that his have changed for the worse.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I'm it

Here are the rules 1.) Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves. 2.) People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules. 3.) At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. 4.) Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I am a gadget freak. I like to have the latest little toys to play with. The one exception is the Blackberry.

2. Saturday night, I read Rosemary's Baby. The entire book, in 4 hours.

3. When ordering a cheeseburger, I want it with NO onions. But I'll order a side of onion rings.

4. I was 10 years old before I had my first hair cut.

5. I have an annoying pet peeve about spelling and grammar. I attribute it to my 9th grade English teacher, Mrs. Little.

6. My senior year of high school, I missed over 100 days of school out of 180 days. Mama had to talk to the principal in order to make sure I passed.

7. On my 11th birthday, my parents bought me my first diamond ring.

8. I have dyslexia, but only when it comes to numbers.

So, there you have it. I am tagging: Jess, Christy, Vickie, Christina, Carol, Kelisha, Brett and Sandy.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

What it takes

Normally, I would post this in my other blog, but since the site is down right now, I'm doing it here. Steve, you may not want to read this.

Years ago, a day had been particularly hard. I, per my parents instructions, was told to get rid of "that boy" or they would. You see, my friend Jenny saw my Daddy every day. And the day before, Kevin had jerked me across the hallway. So, he had jerked me around from time to time, it didn't seem like a big deal at the time. However, in my friends eyes (and now mine), it was the first sign of many years of abuse to come. She ratted Kevin out. My Daddy knew the signs of abuse and was only trying to protect me. But, being the stubborn person that I am, didn't want to believe my Daddy was right. I wanted to believe that he simply didn't want to see me happy. (How much further from the truth could that have been??)

Leaving school that day, I was thrown as cassette tape. I was thrilled, it was the new Aerosmith: Pump. Riding with my cousin to my Nannie's house for the weekend, I discovered a song on there that has stuck with me, some (almost) 20 years later. Inside the tape, I found a note. I'm not sure exactly what it said, but something to the effect of "What will it take to let you go?" It took me a while to realize what those words meant, then I heard the song, I was hooked.

For some reason, tonight, Kevin is on my mind. I wonder if he is ok. I wonder how he is surviving prison life. And I wonder what will it take for him to let me go.

It's nights like these, I hate to be alone. I should be asleep, I should be peacefully sleeping. But every time I close my eyes, I see Kevin. I see the film of our lives together. In order to "get over" Kevin, I tend to remember the bad stuff, not the good. Something triggered a memory tonight that I had not thought of in years, the sharing of the cassette tape. One week it was mine, the next his. This didn't last long, as he "got over" me pretty quick. The following year, his son, Justin was born. But I got custody of the tape. I still have it.

I can't fathom why I continue to torture myself and allow thoughts to creep in about him. I finally have my life on the path I want it to be on, yet, memories of him continue to creep in.
I hate these long nights. I hate hormones, I hate that I think of him, when my thoughts should be focused on Steve and planning our life together. I know without any hesitation I would never go back to Kevin, I can honestly say that now. Before I really "fell in love" with Steve, I'm not sure I could have said that. I feel as though any thoughts of Kevin should be automatically banned from my memory. I know it doesn't work that way,

So anyway, below are the lyrics and a link to the song. I'm sure some of you remember it.

What it takes---Aerosmith

What It Takes
There goes my old girlfriend, there's another diamond ring
And, uh, all those late night promises I guess they don't mean a thing
So baby, what's the story? Did you find another man?
Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made?
When you don't look back I guess the feelings start to fade away.
I used to feel your fire
But now it's cold inside
And you're back on the street like you didn't miss a beat, yeah

Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me what it takes to let you go.

Girl, before I met you I was F.I.N.E. Fine
but your love made me a prisoner, yeah my heart's been doing time
You spent me up like money, then you hung me out to dry
It was easy to keep all your lies in disguise
Cause you had me in deep with the devil in your eyes

Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own Yeah, yeah, yeah
Tell me that it's better when you're all alone
Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch
Tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much
Tell me you ain't dyin' when you're cryin' for me


Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night
Without thinking you lost everything that was good in your life to the toss of the dice?
Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
No no no no 'cause I don't wanna burn in paradise
Ooo Let go, let go, let go,
let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go,
let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go, let it go
I don't wanna burn, I don't wanna burn

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

What do you say in a moment like this?

As I made my way home yesterday, my cell phone rang. It was Andrew. The conversation went something like this:
"Where are you?"
"Trying to make my way home, I'll call you when I get closer, I can't talk right now baby"
"Okay Mama, but I have a question"
"Andrew, I really need to get off of here"
"But Mama, why would someone shoot all those kids? Will they do it at my school?"
"I don't know, baby, I just don't know"

Reba McIntire has a song that says "what do you say in a moment like this?, when you can't find the words to tell it like it is."
That is how I felt yesterday. I wasn't sure what to tell my son, other than (God willing) it won't happen at his school. I had to wait until we were at home to tell him what had happened. Of course, by this time, his little mind had been tainted by his PawPaw Wayne and kids on the bus. It's a shame that any parent should ever have to tell their child about such tragic events.

As most of you know, Steve lives in the area of VT. So when waking up yesterday for the 2nd time, I went into the living room and turned on the scanner and television. I sat there mesmerized and trying to grasp the enormity of it all. Here 24 hours later, I still have not. My phone started ringing, friends asking about other friends, family asking if I was ok and my brother asking if I had heard from a girl from church. It began to sink in.
No, it was not my alma mater, but I spent a fair amount of time on that campus, whether it was going to one of the frat's keg parties to working there for the Red Cross. Now, as I have "grown up", the campus is still a part of my life. Whether it is hanging out in the parking lot before a game or trying to find a duck pond, the campus has always seemed larger than life to me.
I realized a few minutes ago while reading through the list of victims, I had one of the professors. He was a foreigner. I only remember a little bit about him, he was a small man with a big voice. I remember the class more so than the professor, it was one of the hardest classes I ever took on the bachelor's level.

It pisses me off to no end when everyone wants to blame video games, movies or God forbid, music. Makes me wonder if these people who profile have children. Did it ever occur to these people with a professional opinion, that maybe if parents had smacked their kids on their ass when they were younger, things may have been different? I'm not saying this would have solved everything, but no one ever wants to take the blame for their child being something other than perfect.

So what do you say when your child asks about such things? Usually I can come up with some sort of explanation for his questions. Yesterday, I could not come up with any answer. I don't think there are answers for such questions.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I told you she created a monster

From my Mom:
Hey girl, I taught you better than that...... Are you really going to just stick your head in a hole and think the world will go away? Pout, have a pity party and then pull yourself up, stand tall, hold that head up and face the world. And if you really love him, don't let him "just" walk away... Don't you dare use this as an excuse to quit living. email me........ where's my "monster"?

After being rudely awaken by an elbow to my side and being told there wasn't enough room to work on the airbags, I finally decided to get up. And the above is what I find. At first, I thought, I'm not doing that. And then I realized, she's right, I am hiding. I haven't called any of my friends, I haven't been home in a week and in general, I've been a turd.

To put things mildly, I've had a rough week. Jealously that escalated to a fight was the beginning. Got that cleared up. And to answer not only her, but everyone else, I do love him. It is hard to describe. It's not a deep, needy, obsessive, "I need to take care of you" love like it was with Kevin. It's not the "get me out of here, well, I'll stay with you because you are the father of my kid" love as it was with Dale. And it's not the warped whatever you want to call it relationship I had with Tim. And as I told Andrew, we don't count Joseph, he was, simply put, a mistake that I barely remember.
Whatever it is that Steve and I have is not clouded with delusions of changing someone, fixing them to suit you or molding yourself for them. I really, truly and honestly believe that for the first time in my life, I am in love. And no, he did not walk away. And neither did I. We walked towards each other and sat down like adults and talked it out.

To make things so much more fun, my body is showing its ass, as my Mama would say. It has decided to throw a few kidney stones my way. And to top it all off, I have surgery in two weeks. Surgery that will once again change my life. I'm not looking forward to it, but it is an evil that must be dealt with. I am terrified to no end. I do not understand why I keep having reoccurances. But it's not my place to question, I am just kinda dealing with it. Ok, let's be completely honest, I'm avoiding thinking about it. As Steve and I decided the other day, I have too many irons in the fire. (one is about to be removed, I graduate in less than a month!!)

So, to all my dear friends who over the last few days called and wrote, I apologize for not being my chipper self. A special heads up to Gary and Janie. Immediately, they knew something was up, more so than my usual drama. As for Heather and Nikki, I am blessed to have been taken in by your family. I thank you all for taking the time to care. I'm very lucky for each and every one of you. And as always, thanks Mom, for giving me the reality check that I really needed.

So, with that being said, I'm going to go check on Steve and his dreams of working on airbags. I seriously hope it didn't blow up on him.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

And Yet

he walked away.

Just as every one else has.

I should be used to it by now. But somehow, I am not.

F.I.N.E. once again

Once again, I try to play by the "rules" and I fuck up. Ya know, I'm seriously starting to doubt myself. Am I self destructive?
I tried to be open and honest, what did I get? 3 fucking words from a dictionary.
So, once again, here is the acronym to describe me:
Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional

I give up. I tried that bullshit of telling someone when something is wrong and/or bothering me. Apparently, I did it wrong. All it did was blow up in my face and cause hurt feelings. Then to add insult to injury, now I look like the "bad" guy.

I dunno, but I do know that sitting on this living room floor is hurting my butt, so I'm done. After all, avoidance is what I do best. I think I'll take up that hold habit again. At least then, I didn't get hurt.
'Night all......

Saturday, April 7, 2007

My favorite season is confused

Everyone knows it doesn't take much to confuse me. Earlier in the week, I had settled nicely into the fact that it was Spring. After all, this year's flip flops had been bought, shorts had been pulled out, it was my birthday and the Easter Bunny is on his way. And almost as important, the hard top had come off the Miata. No, the rag top hadn't been put down yet, but that day is quickly approaching or so I thought.

Yesterday, I'm on my way up the mountain to Steve's house and suddenly, it was snowing. Yup, the white stuff we did not get earlier in the year. You know, while it was still WINTER. I wake up this morning and as I take Alyssa doggie out, I realized that it was only the 2nd time this year I had seen the white stuff and the first time ever that my little red ride had ever been in snow while underdressed.
After searching the house for the camera (I consider Lent over as of Good Friday), I go back out and get some pictures.

My poor little ride, I'm sure it's confused and shivering, wondering what in the heck happened to that 80° weather.
Poor little flowers just now stuck their heads out and look what happened to them. The tulip has a defeated look about it.
My baby got me a Vermont Teddy Bear. Winston's first companion, Olivia was brutally disembowled during a fight with the ex. Steve, being the perfect boyfriend that he is (and he really, really is!!!), got me Isabelle. But we decided she would probably go by the name Izzy.
I finally got to meet Carol after 4 years, woo hoo!! She gave me a great birthday present: a pedicure. So, to show off her great work and my really cool color (Pompeii Pink) here ya go:
I never knew how hard it is to take a picture of your own feet. But it is, especially if you are using a webcam.
Ok, I'm going to wrap this up, I have to go play Easter Bunny for Andrew and I haven't gotten him a thing! Hope everyone has a great Easter!!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Pardon Me? Are you speaking to me?

So, I'm sitting there in my counselor's office, discussing how to get around missing my last class before my surgery without getting an incomplete and not graduating (aagghhhh). It can be done.

Now, when I say my counselor, I mean a young, fresh faced recent college graduate. Let me emphasize that again, YOUNG. I'm thinking 23-24 at the most.
As I walk out the door, I hear "Umm, Ms. R******?, May I ask you a question?" I turn and say "sure, whatcha need?" and this is what I got:

"At YOUR AGE, how do you do it?"

I was taken aback, truly I was. I actually looked around me, looked behind me and was thinking "is she talking to me? my age? Huh?"
I had no reply for her that could be taken in any other way than a sarcastic shitty ass remark, so I went for it. Needless to say, I'm glad I asked for her help before I replied:

"If I take my Geritol everyday, I get along pretty good, some days are harder than others, but I'm lucky, I have a great family who put me in a assisted living nursing home" and I walked out, slamming the door behind me. I think my blood pressure actually went up to 120/80.

Ya know, I thought over the weekend I found my first wrinkle. Thank God, it was my paranoid self. No wrinkles. Now I have some young chickie thinking I'm ready for retirement. I'm not sure which is worse.