Friday, December 29, 2006


Ok, well there is nothing like having to wake your sick kid up in the middle of the night because you need some monistat. My God, I would hate to get a case of the freakin' crabs, 'cause a yeast infection is bad enough.

So, going into Walgreens at 2 a.m. is always fun, then I have to explain WHY I need this to Andrew. Then once home he wants to know where it goes, how it stays, etc, etc. God Lord, that was more embarrassing than explaining birth to him.

I personally am going to blame this on Steve. If he hadn't bought me a new toy, well, these things wouldn't happen. Haha. Thank God for the pill Diflucan, otherwise, I'd be stuck using the damn toy all weekend. Be my luck I'll have to anyway. Well, I'll give him credit, I got some every night last week, woo hoo. Who says quality over quantity? It was damn good all 5/6 nights....

ok, well, now that my mind is back on sex, maybe I'd better stop while I'm ahead and try to go to sleep.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Other blog

I have had several emails & messages lately asking what happened to my other blog, ya know, the "good one".
I sent out "invites" to those of you who were subscribed before. If you are one who did not get one or are interested, send me a message & I'll send you one.
And be forewarned, the other one is not so polite and I hold nothing back.

Anyway, night everyone, I'm going to attempt sleep. And besides that, I'm missing a really good Rugrats movie....

"You irritated me"

I can honestly say it's been a long time since someone said something to hurt my feelings. I just hung up the phone with Steve. Tonight we went to my SIL's house to give her a message since she doesn't have a phone. Then we went to the store and got something to eat. We came home and Andrew was sick. He has had a headache all day. Anyway, I didn't realize that I needed cigarettes. I asked him if he would run to the store (literally 3 blocks away, less than a minute by car). He did and didn't say a word about it. He left and Andrew has been throwing up ever since.
Anyway, he called a few minutes ago, to tell me he was home (had been for over an hour). I asked him if he was ok tonight and he said he wasn't feeling very "festive". Then he informed me that he was ok until it was time to go get cigarettes. He said I should have got them while we were out. That I "irritated" him by not thinking ahead. When he said that, a feeling shot through my chest, an unfamiliar feeling, as it has not happened in a long time. He hurt my feelings. Well, I'm so freakin' sorry that I was thinking more about my son being sick than getting a pack of cigarettes.
The phone just rang, and Andrew told me not to answer it if it was Steve. It was Christy, but I still don't want to talk to anyone. Another subject that came up was New Year's Eve. I would like to stay up and celebrate. I'm hoping and praying that 2007 is a much better year for me. So, for once, I would like to stay up. Nope, not gonna happen with him. So once again, yet another holiday fucked up for me by a man. He said "well, you will be beside me". I immediately said "well, I was beside someone last year and it didn't make a difference" and it doesn't if they are asleep. So, I guess either I'll be waiting up for it by myself or be asleep.
Kevin was taken to his prison today. I'm not sure which one, I'm sure he's terrified. I wish I would have taken the time to go see him before he left. I am happy that he's gone, at least now, hopefully I won't have to send all his letters back or screen my phone calls to make sure I don't answer his.
I haven't talked to Gary for a day or two, I'm hoping he's ok and everything is doing alright with him. I miss talking to him. I often wonder if he ever randomly thinks of me the way I do him. I also wonder if he ever reads this. I know he reads my other blog, but I'm not sure he's even interested in my life enough to read this one. Anyway, just a thought that went through my head.
I guess I'm going to try to get some sleep now. Andrew is sick and hopefully will settle down to sleep. I'm hoping I can do the same.

We regret to inform you

I just answered the phone, not knowing the number, I was hesitant, ready to close it, if it happened to be my ex. However it was some woman, she started with "We regret to inform you", and everyone knows that types of calls are NEVER good. Mine was excellent!!!
So anyway, since SOME people don't like cliffhangers, she went on to say that Kevin had been transferred to Deep Meadows (an intake prison).
Finally!!! They aren't going to leave him here to bug the shit out of me. 6 letters in 2 days. My postmaster hates me now. He actually leaves the stamp laying on the counter for me to stamp it myself these days. 4 phone calls in 2 days (I entered the number in my phone under DO NOT ANSWER).
Woo Hoo...maybe this time the counselors will get it right and I will finally get some peace and quiet.
As we say on IOIC, I'm doing the happy dance (not really, but I'm pretty happy right now)...somehow though, it's not for the same reasons as they were. Sorry ladies.

I should be sleeping

Yet, I can't get him out of my head. When did this happen? What happened to me? When did it sneak up on me? I have been trying to sleep for hours now and my mind keeps going back to him. Is he asleep yet? Does he miss me as much as I miss him?
All consuming romantic love. He says he's never felt it. Is this an indication that I should run like hell? He says he's never felt what he feels for anyone the way he feels about me. This should be a good thing. Yet, in the same breathe, he says he's never felt an all consuming romantic love like the romance novels. Does this mean I'm not the one? Is he just using me as a means to an end? I know we have a connection. We are both intelligent and have some of the best conversations of my life. He understands my quirky sense of being. But is caring for someone enough to continue a life partnership?
I want the romance novel, all consuming love. I need it. I just don't know if he's capable and if I'm the one. I've already asked him these questions. There are no answers. I came extremely close to losing him on Christmas. I would have left had he not continually reassured me that it's me he wants to be with. I don't doubt that part for a second. I know he cares for me. But it's not the same as love. I want him to feel as though he can't live without me. I want the fairy tale, I want it all. I just wish I knew how to get it.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

eww, that smell

This morning I woke to the sound of splashing. As I have a fish tank in my room, I decided I might want to investigate. The noise wasn't coming from the fish tank. It was coming from the bathroom. Apparently, Joshua, my 19 year old inherited bitchy cat, had fell in the toliet.

I pull her tiny soaking wet body out, wrap her in a towel, take her downstairs and go ahead and give her a "real" bath. And no, she doesn't like those either. But at least she can sit on my bed without me feeling like she has the remenents of pee/poo on her.

I'm still not sure what she thought she was gonna do: get a drink, maybe?, use it? I'll never know since she is offically back to not "speaking" to me. It seems I am to blame for this moral offense in her mind. But now she smells like Pantene, she should STFU and be happy. Here is a picture of my beloved Joshua, can't you tell she is the epitomy of loveliness?

After going through this, I was reminded of the old "how to give a cat a bath" joke, so here it is:

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the
cat is actually enjoying this. 5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash and rinse".
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom
and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he
will dry himself off.
9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The freaks come out in the daylight

At 7 this morning, I'm finally getting around to decorating the damn tree. (yes, I'm a Scrooge). Anyway, I had the brilliant idea after seeing Steve's sister's tree (which is VERY pretty), to do my tree in red this year. Most years, I do some sort of color scheme. Andrew informs me that I am supposed to start at the top with the lights & go down. Well, 3/4 of the way down, I run out of lights. Yet another reason I hate decorating a tree. So, I decide, I'll run to Walmart, get lights, some ribbon and be home before 8:30. Pppfffttt. So much for that idea.
--> -->

If you have seen the orange juice commercial, you will know what I'm talking about when I say that arms came through the shelf and handed me a set of red lights. Apparently, they have an endless supply of red lights at Walmart. What I'm confused about is how did this set of arms know that I needed red ones? All I can hope is that I wasn't standing there talking to myself.

Anyway, after the set of arms handed me the lights, I peered through the shelf looking for the source and these really big yellow eyes peered back at me. I think I may have said something to the effect of "oh shit". At any rate, whatever I said got a chuckle. Out from the back of the rack of lights came this enormous man, sleeved on both arms and his bald head. Now, I'm a gnat's ass away from 6'0 in my bare feet. I'm in a pair of hiking boots, yet I have to lean my head back to eyeball this person. I swear, he looked exactly like something from a freak show. I'm really not trying to be mean, honestly, I'm not. I was just extremely surprised.

Hanging from his ears were large gaged studs. The pointy kind. The kind where if he took them out, his earlobes would be kinda hanging there. (Somehow the song "do your ears hang low?" just popped in my head) As I said, he was sleeved and I don't think there was a place that had not been inked. I couldn't even tell how old this person was.
As he began to speak, I noticed his tongue also held a large gage stud. He had cat eye contacts in that was yellow. I'm trying to remember my manners, put my "professional facade" on. But all I can do is stutter, "thhannnkkk yyoouuu".

I quickly head out the other way to the toy section and as I am making my great escape, a booming voice informs me I forgot my cart. Oopps. I grab it and again, start the other way. The voice sounded like the one behind the curtain telling the characters out of the Wizard of Oz to ignore that man, speaks again. He apologizes for startling me. He also tells me to have a good day. I think I say the same and finally get the hell of out there.

I'm still not sure why this person's appearance freaked me out. This is bothering me. I am not one to be unnerved by anyone's appearance; let alone judge. I have many piercings and quite a few tattoos. But, I think if you are going to hide in a shelf at Walmart, maybe you ought to forego the cat eyes. Somehow, I can see small children being frightened.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Well, I'm back from the mall. I cannot wait until all this crap is over with. I think the best thing that is gonna come out of the next 2 weeks is getting to stay with Steve. I just talked to him and his mind seemed to be somewhere else. I hate that. It seems as though we never get to talk during the day anymore and then in the evening, he doesn't wanna talk at all. Hell, I'm just freakin' happy to hear another adult voice.

I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I am about 1/2 way depressed and I'm not sure why. I haven't had this feeling for a long time. I wish I could put my finger on the reason. I have everything a woman could want, why am I not happy? The never ending, unanswered question. I feel like I could just hide in bed and not get up. I haven't felt like sleeping to "hide" for a very long time. I dunno, maybe my meds need readjusted.

Well, that is my blurb for the night, I'm gonna lay down and get some sleep since I didn't sleep last night.


I surprise myself sometimes. Why? Because I haven't choked my smart ass kid yet. Today he played "sick" and of course, with me having plans. It seems like every time I plan something, it gets fucked up. I give up on planning something. I did manage to get some more Christmas shopping done. My sister refused to watch him and he refused to go to my Mama's, so whatever Christmas shopping that I have left for him will get done tomorrow. I'll also finish up Steve's tomorrow. He is so damn hard to buy for.
Anyway, I drug Andrew with me to the mall, that place was awful. It was crowded and the traffic sucked. It took us 20 minutes to get out of the parking lot. And the bad part about that is, I have to go back tomorrow and pick up the rest of Steve's present.
I will be so glad once Andrew is gone, I will have the evening to myself. I tried to get Steve to come over, but he had to go home & wrap presents & "whatnot"...whatever. Yesterday he was too tired, today he has stuff to do. Just what the fuck ever. I guess I'll just be seeing him this weekend.

Our trip to Charlottesville has pretty much been cancelled. He can't get off work for next Thursday and possibly has to work all day on Friday. His friend doesn't know if he can still come up on Saturday, so it's all up in the air. He's pissy about that. I guess I can understand. I'm not real sure who this friend is, I'm thinking it's someone he grew up with. Hell, he don't tell me details about anything.

Well, the kid is bitching at me to get on the computer. Hopefully his father is on his way and I can have some peace & quiet. Finally. The next 2 weeks are gonna be a bitch, I can see it coming now. Holidays fucking suck.

Monday, December 18, 2006

How to get an old person to walk faster

So, I've finally discovered the secret to getting old people to walk faster. Here's what you do:
Pull into the busiest post office in the Roanoke Valley. Make sure your mother is bitching in your ear as loud as possible. (this is important to set the mood). Get your money out, cards ready and open door. Sit and wait 10 minutes on said mother to get her money out and decide exactly how many stamps she needs. Head towards the front entrance, by this time, there should be a line of old people in front of you walking towards the same door. Walk really fast, because after all, God gave you really long legs to go with the 6'0 frame you have. Look around at all the old people: trust me, those little chicken legs can kick it into high gear if they think a "younger" person is gonna get to the counter before they will. If by chance you make it before them, be sure to listen to the loud sighs of the older person behind you and "how rude" younger people are. After getting everything you and bitchy mother needs, head out the door. If someone screams an old nickname that you recognize: RUN LIKE HELL!! Don't lift your head in
acknowledgment. Let alone turn around to see who the hell still calls you "Amie Lou", after all, only the people from the ER and the ex's family call you that. And good God if you see someone you dated years ago from work, don't tell them how grey they are, they get offended. It's also not a good idea to turn down a date in a public place, because then all the old people turn around and wonder what exactly is wrong with him that you wouldn't want to date a doctor. Lots of head shaking and murmuring can be heard. And above all: don't let them see what vehicle you are heading towards, because they will follow you!
Ok, I'm done my bitch session. For now, anyway.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Surrounded, yet alone

I feel so alone. I am unsure why. Maybe because I have spent the entire day just sitting on a couch. Okay, well, I walked the dog. Nikki's computer is broke, so Steve has spent ALL day on the damn thing in the back room. Literally, he woke up, got on the computer and it's now almost 9 p.m. and he is still on it. I'll give him SOME credit, he's now in here, beside me working on it.

Friday, my Uncle Tad got severely sick. Now, he's on a vent and not doing well at all. I'm scared we will lose him. My sister told me I needed to think of other people's feelings rather than just my own. Yeah, well the last time I went to see a family member on a ventilator, they died. I don't handle death well at all. Let alone an Uncle who practically raised me. So, at this point, fuck other people's feelings. I know that I may be selfish at times, but what good am I gonna be if I go up there and have a breakdown? I may go tomorrow.

I still haven't put up the fricken' Christmas tree. At this point, I'm ready to say fuck it and not do it at all. It doesn't feel like Christmas to me. It was really nice outside today and there are no decorations here. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to me. Something is missing and I can't put my finger on it. I don't know.

Well, I'm being eyeballed and that is never a good sign of anything, so I'm gonna stop before I get a head over my shoulder.

Friday, December 15, 2006

My brain is like a Senators...

Many of you may remember back in late summer, I was having migraines daily. After having an MRI, it was found that I have an AVM (arteriovenus malformation). I have had several MRI's over my lifetime and yet, this was never detected. My neurologist told me not to worry about it, if was congenital and would probably never bother me, yet this past week, a Senator ended up having major surgery to repair his.

Yet another reason I don't trust most doctors. I have said for years that I should just go ahead and go to med school since I seem to know more about my medical history than some of these doctors. Somehow when Daddy told me I could get a job at a doctor's office (making people sick, no less), I don't think he knew I would be more of a patient than an employee.

Yes, I am a walking dysfunctional medical nightmare. I never get a "cold", I get fricken' pulmonary disease or something only 1% of the U.S. population gets. I have had all the funky medical problems over the years, but I'm in good health. I thank God for this, but I'd like to smack my parents for the genes. (Well, Mama's side, I haven't been stricken with any of Daddy's family's illnesses).

Perfect example of my dear mother's genes: Earlier this week, my Mama passed out and now it is believed she had a stroke. Yet she refuses to go get an MRI to find out if she has the same AVM or a blockage. WTF??? One day, I'm going to go visit and she will be laying there. The thought terrifies me.

Anyway, the whole point of this is, if you have that gut feeling that something is wrong, like I did with the migraines, or you start talking funky or anything out of the ordinary, please, PLEASE go get it checked out. You don't want to end up like Senator Johnson.
Here's the article about the Senator along with some blurbs about what happens if he can't fulfill his duties, it will screw up who has the majority. I'm rattled long enough, I don't go into my thoughts on that!

Sen. Johnson responsive after brain surgery

South Dakota Democrat's health spurs questions of Senate control

WASHINGTON - Democratic Sen. Tim Johnson was "appropriately responsive to both word and touch" half a day after successful emergency brain surgery, but still leaving active the political drama over whether his illness could cost Democrats newly won control of the Senate.

Admiral John Eisold, Attending Physician of the United States Capitol released a statement Thursday afternoon saying Thompson "continued to have an uncomplicated post-operative course. Specifically, he has been appropriately responsive to both word and touch. No further surgical intervention has been required."

The South Dakota senator, 59, suffered from bleeding in the brain caused by a congenital malformation, the U.S. Capitol physician said.

The condition, usually present at birth, causes tangled blood vessels that can burst unexpectedly later in life.

Control of the Senate
Democrats hold a fragile 51-49 margin in the new Senate that convenes Jan. 4. If Johnson leaves the Senate, the Republican governor of South Dakota could appoint a Republican to fill the remaining two years of Johnson's term - keeping the Senate in GOP hands with Vice President Dick Cheney's tie-breaking power.

Incoming Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid visited Johnson in the hospital Thursday morning and said afterward he was confident the senator would recover fully.

Asked about whether Democratic control of the Senate might be jeopardized, Reid said, "There isn't a thing that's changed."

Reid refused to comment on Johnson's medical condition, declining to even answer a question on whether the senator was conscious. "To me he looked very good," Reid said.

Symptoms caught early
Johnson was taken to the hospital on Wednesday after becoming disoriented during a conference phone call with reporters. At first, he answered questions normally but then began to stutter. He paused, then continued stammering before appearing to recover and ending the call.

"The senator is recovering without complication," said Adm. John Eisold, the Capitol physician. "It is premature to determine whether further surgery will be required or to assess any long-term prognosis."

Eisold said doctors stopped bleeding in Johnson's brain and drained the blood that had accumulated there.

Johnson's condition, also known as AVM, or arteriovenous malformation, causes arteries and veins to grow abnormally large and become tangled.

The condition is believed to affect about 300,000 Americans, according to the National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke. The institute's Web site said only about 12 percent of the people with the condition experience symptoms, ranging in severity. It kills about 3,000 people a year.

The senator's wife, Barbara Johnson, said the family "is encouraged and optimistic."

In a statement from Johnson's office Thursday, she said her family was "grateful for the prayers and good wishes of friends, supporters and South Dakotans."

A person familiar with Johnson's situation said surgery began late Wednesday night and ended around 12:30 a.m. Thursday and that the next 24 to 48 hours would be critical in determining Johnson's condition. The person spoke on condition of anonymity out of respect for the senator's family.

If Johnson were forced to relinquish his seat, a replacement would be named by South Dakota's GOP Gov. Mike Rounds.

A Republican appointee would create a 50-50 tie, and allow the GOP to retain Senate control.

However, Senate historian Don Ritchie said senators serve out their terms unless they resign or die. Nine senators have remained in the Senate even though illnesses kept them away from the chamber for six months or more.

Rounds' press secretary, Mark Johnston, said Thursday the governor had nothing new to say. "We're watching as much as everyone else," he said.

The governor, elected to a second four-year term last month, has been widely seen as the Republican candidate with the best chance to challenge Johnson in two years.

Other than Rounds himself, top possibilities if a replacement senator were needed include Lt. Gov. Dennis Daugaard and state Public Utilities Commission Chairman Dusty Johnson, considered a rising star in the Republican Party. Retiring GOP legislative leaders, such as state House Speaker Matthew Michels and Senate Majority Leader Eric Bogue, also might be considered.

Johnson, who turns 60 later this month, was admitted to George Washington University hospital at midday after experiencing what his office initially said was a possible stroke.

His spokeswoman, Julianne Fisher, later told reporters that it had been determined that the senator had suffered neither a stroke nor a heart attack.

Fisher said that after making the conference call with reporters from the recording studio in the basement of the Capitol, he then walked back to his office but appeared to not be feeling well. The Capitol physician came to his office and examined him, and it was decided he should go to the hospital.

He was taken to the hospital by ambulance around noon, Fisher said. "It was caught very early," she said.

A brain specialist not involved with Johnson's care said there's no way to know until Johnson is awake and able to answer questions how much lingering damage, if any, the bleeding may have caused. Still, while he'll remain in intensive care for a while, "he has every chance of recovery," said Dr. William Bank, who treats AVM and other neurovascular disorders at Washington Hospital Center.

Political ramifications
Johnson is up for re-election in 2008.

In 1969, another South Dakota senator, Karl Mundt, a Republican, suffered a stroke while in office. Mundt continued to serve until the end of his term in January 1973, although he was unable to attend Senate sessions and was stripped of his committee assignments by the Senate Republican Conference in 1972.

Johnson, who was elected in 1996, holds the same seat previously held by Mundt.

South Dakota Secretary of State Chris Nelson said there were no special restrictions on an appointment by the governor and a replacement would not have to be from the same political party.

The Senate last convened with a perfect balance of 50 Republicans and 50 Democrats in January 2001. Then, the two parties struck a power-sharing agreement that gave control of the Senate to Republicans but gave Democrats equal representation on committees.

That arrangement lasted only until June 2001, when Vermont Republican James Jeffords became an independent who chose to vote with Democrats on organizational matters, giving Democrats control until Republicans won back the Senate in the 2002 midterm elections.

Johnson, a centrist Democrat, was first elected to the Senate in 1996 after serving 10 years in the House. He narrowly defeated Republican John Thune in his 2002 re-election bid. Thune defeated Sen. Tom Daschle, the former Senate Democratic leader, two years later.

Johnson is in line to become chairman of the Senate Ethics Committee.

He underwent prostate cancer treatment in 2004, and subsequent tests have shown him to be clear of the disease.

Johnson is the second senator to become ill after the Nov. 7 election. Wyoming Sen. Craig Thomas, a Republican, was diagnosed with leukemia on Election Day. He is back at work.

© 2006 The Associated Press.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Little Red Ride

Well, my little red ride pooped out on me today. I have no idea what is wrong with it this time. Either the plugs or plug wires, I hope. Maybe it's something as simple as that.

Went to get a Christmas tree tonight, with no such luck. Too much to go into, but it boils down too sensory overload.

I am sitting here with the music blaring, trying to decide what to do. Well, in particular two things: the job issue and the car issue. I know I need to be rational about the car, it can be fixed. I don't need a car payment at this point in my life. I don't want one either. I'd rather focus on getting my butt into my own home again.

The job issue, well, if I want to never have a permenant schedule, I have the perfect job offer. But I'm too flighty as it is, I can't not know what shift I will work next. I have had Andrew with me going on 3 weeks in a row (except weekends) and I can't just up and send him back. I have fought too hard & too long to send my son back to staying with his dad all the time.

I guess I ought to get my butt in bed, 7 comes early these days. And having to go to the gyn/oncologist tomorrow is weighing heavily on my mind. So, I'm hoping sleep will come.

Here I go again

Since the last journal was compromised, here I go again. I guess we will see how long this one lasts, I hate that I lost all the others, but it was for the best, I suppose.
Let's see, I guess I'm supposed to start off as usual, with my day, etc.
My day sucked, the car broke-again. It's either the plug wires or the plugs. Don't know. Then Steve did not have patience at all tonight. I understand where he's coming from, he's never been around children. It seems my son is trying to test his patience. It also seems that Steve is up for a good challenge. I have a feeling that Steve will win this battle.
I got to talk to Gary this afternoon. It was really good to hear his voice. Some days I wonder what exactly is it that I felt for him, if that makes sense at all. Lord knows I don't have the same feelings for Steve that I have for Gary. I dunno, I'm confused. I reckon because I thought I was gonna lose Steve tonight over Andrew and it scared me. Scared me big time. So what is this?
I also got a phone call from Kevin. That was like talking to an old friend. There was no warm fuzzy feelings or anything like that, just one of those phone calls where you want to make sure the other person is ok because it's been so long since you talked to them. I'm not confused on the Kevin matter. It's over & done with. The pain is gone, I guess. I don't really ever think about it anymore. I guess the old saying about time will tell is true. Damnit, all these men and I can't pin down a "label" for any of them. I can say Gary is my best friend. I feel so comfortable and safe with him. I wish he felt the same. Ahhh, well, can't change the past.
Ok, well, I guess I'm done rambling.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Finding love

After years of commiserating about our love lives, within the last 3 months, both myself and my best friend Tammy have found something neither one of us thought we would never find again: Love.
Remember all those nights Tammy? We wondered what we had done to deserve the shitty ass men we landed? And how we wondered how all the sluts and whores landed the "good men".

Well girl, after talking to you the other day, I heard something in your I had not heard in a long time: happiness. Know what? You deserve it!!
I am very happy for you and whashisname (lmao). I hope he is the one you have been waiting for. Now as long as he understand that if he breaks your heart, I'll hurt him! And remember, Karma is a bitch and she will return in threefold.

As for me, this is a whole new ballgame for me. Time will tell and so far, things are looking good for the home team.

Anyway, just wanted to tell you that I'm very happy for ya'll. I'll talk to you soon girl, love ya and miss ya very much!

Tuesday, December 5, 2006

Well, I didn't poison him

Well, dinner went well, I reckon. He left in one piece and got home in one piece. I didn't poison him or myself.

And the best part: nothing got burned!!

As easy as it was to cook dinner, I still hate to do it. But, I will. I mean, he needs fed and is all skinny & stuff. I even cleaned up my mess.

On a side note, Andrew cooked me eggs today. Poor kid, has learned already, if you wanna eat in this house, cook it yourself!!
There was no school play he was *sick* and stayed home with me and entertained me all day.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Part II of the Report Card Saga

As expected, nothing is going to happen to my son. To me, this is the equivalent of saying "that's ok, you can continue on this path". What type of example is this setting for him? If he thinks he can get away with not putting forth his best effort now, what will he be like in 10 years? If he would put 1/2 the effort into his school work as he puts into his Nintendo, X-Box and Playstation, he would be doing great.
I do have to say that Tysone was on my side. She took away his games. But Dale just seemed to think it was ok and we would wait until mid term reports to come out and see how things are going. Then the best line of all came "well, I didn't like school, it only makes sense that he wouldn't either" I said earlier, stupidity at its finest.
I'm so frustrated. I feel as though I have NO say in this at all. Yet one more reason why he should be in one home and not jumping from house to house. It's out of my hands now. I guess we shall see what happens.
On the upside, he asked me when Steve & I are getting married (kinda jumping to conclusions there isn't he?) He has decided he really likes Steve and wants him to be part of our lives. I asked what he thought about me moving, and he said as long as he gets a bedroom, he won't mind. So, I'm in a much, much better mood now. I have my son's blessing with my new relationship and that makes everything seem better somehow.

The words f*ck it come to mind

Okay, well, I'm grumpy this evening. Thanks to the dumb ass I call my ex husband. Rarely, thank God, do I get grumpy and stay that way for long. But damn, it seems like I'm truly surrounded by idiots. Not only did I have to spend the day with my mother (whole other blog), but now I have to put up with idiocy at its finest. And those of you who know me, know I despise stupidity.

Got my kid's report card this evening and it was bad. Not only did my kid lie to me about what grades he made, the dumb ass (ex husband, not kid) doesn't want to do anything about the grades he made. He is on his way over here to "discuss" things. Ground the kid, make him do extra work in the evening, maybe make your wife who is a TEACHER help him. Do fucking something, don't just fricken' pretend it will get better. I was told "just because you are an over achiever doesn't mean you should push it off on your son" WTF? Expecting good (at least passing grades) makes me a bad person?

I am trying to decide on a punishment for the lying. I am also trying to hold my temper right now because I'm getting ready to go off on the next poor sap who happens to say something to me in the wrong tone. Damn it, I hate feeling like this. Andrew informs me the moon is full. He has decided that is what is wrong with me. I asked him if maybe, just maybe it could be the fact that he is doing so poorly in school and lying to me could be the reason? With a resounding "No" and an eye roll, he walks off to await his fate.

I say "fuck it", I'm gonna have this fight and go to bed. I've had my limit and someone else's too. Tomorrow will be a better day, so I have been told. God, I hope so.

I should have a warning label

Tomorrow is Andrew's school Christmas play. Oh excuse me, Winter Holiday Play. Anyway, Steve has agreed to go (woo hoo). But first he's gonna come over & I'm gonna fix some supper. Yup. He's gonna eat MY cooking. Thank God Richie has been wrapped up in his own life here lately to give him the "speech" on my cooking. Dale being the turd that he is laughed so hard he choked when he heard I was gonna cook. I swear, you burn water ONE time and you never hear the end of it. I have been craving tacos, so I'm gonna fix those. I mean, how can I mess that up? Mama then informs me that if I'm trying to "catch" him, maybe I should forewarn him of my nonexistant cooking skills. She then decides he's so skinny that he needs a good cook and maybe I should take some cooking classes or something? LMAO.

Ok, so I'm not freakin' Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart, but I can cook. I just choose not to, for the most part. I have this thing about cooking. I know it's supposed to work like this; but it irritates me to no end: everything gets done at once. So I'm trying to grab stuff out of the oven, turn stuff off, pull things off the burner so it doesn't burn, and then you gotta make sure it's all done and not over cooked. Then you are expected to eat it? Shit on all that. I'll stick to simple things or as I have done in the past, you cook, I'll clean. Yeah, that sounds like a plan to me.
So, I have already went to the grocery store and got everything, then told various people about it, they start freaking me out.

Ok, to end this seemingly boring, gotta get it out before I explode blog, go check out Steve's blog. Steve's Famous Or should it be infamous? hmmm...either way, I think I'll keep him. Wait, maybe I should wait to make sure he survives tomorrow night...LMAO.