Thursday, August 30, 2007

Ways to relieve boredom

As most of you know, I've taken the last year off to be with Andrew. Then some other things came up and well, I'm still sitting on my hiney. Being house bound at times can be extremely boring. I suppose I could go out, but with the chemo, I can't stand the heat, am not allowed to be in the sun, etc., etc. So, I am limited to be a homebody. With Andrew now in 4th grade (hard to believe!!), I usually get my housework done and then get on the computer and putter around there. Having just broke my arm, however, does limit my time on here. Kinda hard to type when you have a monstrosity wrapped around your wrist and you have to "hunt and peck" to be able to type. I'm a home row kinda typer. (yes, hard to believe I failed high school typing)

I love to learn about new stuff and read. I found a website a few months ago and now I'm addicted to it. It's called
Stumble Upon. To get the most out of it, you can install a toolbar and every time you hit "Stumble", it takes you to a new site. It's pretty cool and you can set your preferences to tailor it to your interests. So far, I have not found any spyware, adware or gotten anything strange from installing the toolbar. I haven't even gotten spam from joining. That is a huge plus for me.

The next one I discovered is called
Video Jug. As the website says, it's "Life Explained. On film." It's got some really cool videos, some funny ones and most are educational. Today, I learned how to put a condom on a banana and how to look good naked. Hmm, things I probably will never use but are fun to watch anyway.

If you are a news freak like I am, there is always
Fark. And if you like to read about the world of entertainment, there is always WWTDD. Also known as "What Would Tyler Durden Do". It's a satirical look at things in the entertainment world.

I know most of you have jobs (I envy you) , kids (I don't envy you, I have one for sale now), husbands (trying to get rid of one of those too) and wives (don't need one, thank you anyway) etc. so you don't have a lot of time for just wandering around the net. But for those of you who do like to wander, just thought I'd share some of my bookmarks.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The gods conspired against me

2 digital cameras, check. Tripod, check. Cigarettes and sweet tea for the long wait, check. View of the eclipse, errr...Houston WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

I actually get my butt up at 4:30 a.m. EST, to go get pictures of the eclipse and what happens? The clouds have completely covered my view. Damnit, there aren't very many things in life I will roll my butt out of bed at that ungodly hour for, but this was one of the few. After all, it's a photographer's dream. The moon, the stars, an eclipse and in my case, a bunch of clouds.

Well, poop. I must say I'm disappointed. Let's hope and pray we get a lot of rain in the next few weeks. If that is the case, I may actually get some excellent fall foliage pictures. We shall see...

Saturday, August 25, 2007

My family are a pack of animals

As I sit here and watch Meerkat Manor, I realized just how lucky I am. If you haven't seen it, you should watch it. It is an adorable reality series about a family of Meerkats, named the Whiskers. They live in the Kalahari Desert and it seems if any sort of drama can come their way, it usually does.

One may wonder how I can compare my life to a pack of tiny creatures. Well, everyone knows my life has been packed full of one adventure after another. Full of lots of drama too. But that is not the part I am thinking of. The meerkats are a tight, close-knit family who watches after each other. As in, to the death, watch after each other. While thankfully I've never had to kill for a member of my family, I have no doubt in my mind that I would, without hesitation. And I know in return, they would do the same.

I'm sure you've heard the old adage about how it takes a village to raise a child. I am a firm believer in this statement. I often wonder how people raise more than one child. I am in amazement of any mother who has the balls to have more than one. I personally, could not handle having a second child. I used to ask my Mama, how did you do it? And her answer was always the same: you just do.

I was blessed with a lot of aunts and uncles, most biological, some not. We respected them as much as we respected our own parents. Come to think of it, we still do. What they said was law and we obeyed it, for fear of what would come should our parents find out we didn't. I have raised, with the help of Dale, my son to be the same way. And I have no problem whatsoever with a member of my family smacking him on the butt if he needs it. In the same breath, I have no problem whacking their kid either. If nothing else in this world I hope my child takes away from my being his mother, I hope it is to respect family.

As I said earlier, I am lucky in life. Sure, my health sucks a big one. But when it comes right down to it, I have a lot of family and friends who care about me and loves me unconditionally. In addition, I have a really special man who shares my world with me. He got a package deal with Andrew and I, but I also got a package deal with his family. I have come to love them as if they are my own. We may not see them as often as we would like, but when we do, we usually have a great time together.

For all my bitching and complaining, I have to say, I am truly blessed. I'm just glad I don't have to groom them like the meerkats do.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Feel Like Slapping Someone Today?

Lord Knows today I need some destressing!!
This is AWESOME !!!!!! If only we could upload our own individual pictures !!!! ::sigh::

Move your mouse back and forth quickly across the face.
Do you feel like slapping someone?? Try this one! It's nice....just imagine the person you want to hit, in my case it's a list of people....

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I simply have no words for this

Hotdoll for Dogs

By: Midori Nakamura

Clement Eloy is a French product designer who has decided to "help out" dogs when they get the urge. Mr. Eloy has produced other provocative product designs, but this one is the most … primal.

The Hotdoll is a doggy love doll that is supposed to help channel the sexual appetite of canine pets. The doll's shape allows dogs to grasp it easily with their paws, "like female hips," as Mr. Eloy puts it on his Web site

Mr. Eloy proclaims, "A dog is an animal with an enormous sexual appetite which can't be controlled. Many methods consist in artificial ways to stop dogs' inborn caractère. These methods, like castration or meds, are going against the nature laws."

The doll comes in two sizes, large and small, for big and little dogs. It is made of plastic covered with a thick technogel skin ("for a soft feel"). The doll's feet and nose are made of rubber, so it will grip the floor when mounted. The pink hole ("most important part!") "needs to be washed regularly for hygienic reasons." Accessories include a "female odour" spray.

The Hotdoll has been in the media spotlight from the moment it was revealed to the world. And there must be many dog owners whose legs are receiving a little too much attention from their oversexed pets, since visitors to design Web sites everywhere are demanding to know where the item can be purchased. I have not yet discovered where the Hotdoll is for general sale. Please let me know if you find out!

Photo courtesy of

Monday, August 20, 2007

The easy way out

I just read that Michael Vick will take a plea deal. How convenient for him. I guess once he figured out his friends were going to rat him out; he had to do something to save his own ass.

Seems to me there is some sort of pattern going on between these brothers. One of them is a dog killer and the other one is a rapist and does drugs. How can one let "fame" go to their heads to the point that these two have? Dog killing? Who the hell thinks they are high enough in the social hierarchy that they won't get punished for that?

From what I have read, their mother gave everything to these boys. She was a young mother and worked her butt off. She taught them morals. How can they look their Mama is the face? I just don't understand.

Michael Vick takes plea deal, avoids additional dogfighting charges

Atlanta Falcons quarterback and Hampton Roads native Michael Vick has accepted a plea deal – and a likely prison sentence – to avoid additional federal charges related to a professional dogfighting operation, according to one of Vick's attorneys.

Vick is going to enter a guilty plea to the felony conspiracy charge next Monday at 10:30 a.m., said Lawrence Woodward, one of Vick's defense attorneys.

"Mike's accepting full responsibility," Woodward said. "He's going to do everything he can personally and professionally to make this situation right."

Vick's decision came after his last two co-defendants pleaded guilty Friday and agreed in deals with prosecutors to testify against Vick if they were called to do so at trial. A third co-defendant pleaded guilty in July under similar conditions.

With his plea deal, Vick is expected to avoid more serious charges related to a large dogfighting venture called "Bad Newz Kennels" that he is accused of almost entirely funding from 2001 to 2007.

The deal, in its form last week, was expected to include a recommendation from prosecutors that Vick serve at least a year in prison, according to two sources familiar with the discussions. The judge will have the final say in sentencing.

It is unclear how the plea deal will affect Vick's NFL career. League Commissioner Roger Goodell said last week that the NFL was still working on its own review of the case and is closely monitoring talks between Vick's lawyers and prosecutors.

"We're going to do what we always said we were going to do, which is rely on the facts," Goodell said. "If there is some type of a plea agreement, then we will obviously take the time to understand what that plea is and we'll see how it fits into our personal conduct (policy)."

Players and coaches began reacting to a potential plea deal by Vick when the possibility surfaced last week. Redskins coach and team president Joe Gibbs, a friend of Falcons owner Arthur Blank , said the case has been tough "for everybody in the NFL."

"Michael Vick's one of the premier players in the league and no one wanted this to happen," said Gibbs, who owned a small piece of the Falcons before he returned to the Redskins in 2004.

Redskins defensive back David Macklin, a close friend of Vick's who played against him growing up in Newport News, said last week that the case has been hard on Vick.

"We're keeping him in our prayers," Macklin said. "It's a situation he's going to be able to get through. He's going to overcome. We're behind him 100 percent. I've been able to speak with him and he's realizing a lot of things right now. We'll just see how it goes."

At Virginia Tech, where Vick starred in college, his former coaches said last week they didn't want to talk about the case until it was over.

"Nobody condones any of that stuff, if it's true, but when somebody asks me about Michael, I think about being front-row center for a highlight show," said Tech offensive coordinator Bryan Stinespring. "I think about him playing pitch and catch with my 6-year-old son at that time before practice. That stuff is the highlight of my son's life. Now his heart is breaking."

Said head coach Frank Beamer: "Michael is one of ours, and we want the best for him. But I'm going to wait until I hear the final word."

The NFL's recently toughened player conduct policy empowers Goodell to fine, suspend or impose a lifetime ban on a player for criminal behavior. He's levied harsh penalties on players even for being arrested.

Goodell suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones for the 2007 season after he was arrested five times since being drafted in 2005.

In another move, Goodell suspended Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals for eight games this year after a 14-month span in which he was arrested four times and served a previous two-game suspension for his behavior.

Tank Johnson , who served jail time for violating probation related to a gun charge, was also suspended for eight games this year. Johnson's team, the Chicago Bears, released the defensive tackle in June after he was pulled over on suspicion of driving drunk.

Goodell banned Vick from attending the Falcons' training camp after the star quarterback was indicted in July with his three co-defendants. An NFL spokesman said Goodell would withhold further action until the league had completed its review.

In a July interview with, Goodell said Vick had assured him he was not involved in dogfighting.

"His comments to me were very consistent with what he has said publicly: That he does not have any interest in that, that it wasn't happening at his property, and that was his discussion," Goodell said. "And I was very clear with him that if it's happening on your property, it's your responsibility."

A hearing date is expected to be set soon for a judge to accept Vick's deal. It could be months before he receives his sentence. Sentencing dates of Nov. 30 and Dec. 14 have been set for his co-defendants.

Vick, 27, Quanis L. Phillips, 28, Purnell Peace, 35, and Tony Taylor, 34, are accused of starting the pit bull fighting venture in early 2001, the spring Vick became the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft after his final season at Virginia Tech.

In May of that year, Taylor found a location in rural Surry County that looked suitable for housing and training the dogs, and Vick bought the property, at 1915 Moonlight Road, in June, according to a summary of facts that Taylor signed for his plea deal, indicating that he agreed the information was accurate.

Peace joined the operation later that year, and the men began buying dogs and puppies, Taylor's summary said. In 2002, according to the indictment, the group put a name to the outfit: "Bad Newz Kennels."

A source close to the case said prosecutors have a photograph of Vick and his co-defendants sporting that name on headbands and shirts.

The dog "testing" sessions began in summer 2002, followed by the first executions, Taylor's summary said. All four defendants, Vick included, put some of their dogs through fights to determine which ones were good fighters, the summary said.

According to Taylor's summary, Peace and Phillips, a childhood friend of Vick's, each shot at least one dog after those testing sessions. Taylor shot one and electrocuted another, according to his summary.

When the men fought their dogs in real matches, they placed bets with the competing dog's owner, and the purses rose through the years, according to the indictment and the signed fact summaries from Peace, Phillips and Taylor.

One of the earliest fights, in spring 2002, involved wagers of $500 with a dog owner from North Carolina. In March 2003, Peace and Vick sponsored a fight with bets of $13,000 per side, according to the indictment.

In April 2007, Vick, Peace and Phillips executed about eight dogs that performed poorly in another testing session, according to the fact summaries of Peace and Phillips. The summaries say Vick took part in the executions, done by hanging and drowning.

According to his co-defendants, Vick almost exclusively funded the operation and the gambling money. Peace, in his fact summary, said Vick paid him about $3,000 a month to be the dogs' primary caretaker.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

You too can be gansta

Today I think I have repented every sin I have ever committed. The reason? I have had a taste of hell today with the temperature being over 100 degrees. I know without a doubt I do not want to go to hell if it fells ever remotely this hot. And I'm assuming it is kinda hot down there, with all that fire and brimstone the T.V. preachers talk about.

On to my point, I went shopping today to get out of the house, because the A/C was broke. I can't tolerate heat as well as I used to since starting the chemo. Shopping and a hair cut sounded really good. I'm sure Heather would applaud my good sense. Walking around the mall, Jac and I decided we "needed" new purses. And this is what I found.

I know it's a crappy picture, but it's from a camera phone. Those things on top are "brass knuckles" and the straps are made from chain link. Ummm....ok. Not sure who the target consumer was when this product was designed but they sure missed their mark when they put it in our town. But it is nice to know if I ever need a set, I can go to my local mall, get this purse and smack the shit out of someone. Much better than the concealed weapon I was planning on putting in there to begin with.

1 year ago today, I met the man who would become my best friend. So, I just wanted to tell him that I really appreciate all you've done for me in the last year. The whining, crying, screaming and laughing you've had to put up with, I thank you for. I am very happy that you are reaching your goal of having your own shop. I hope you know you will always have me standing beside you, cheering you on. Like I said a few weeks ago, if it wasn't for you, I would have never met Steve. So thanks for making me see things I didn't want to and teaching me to go on with my life. I love ya and I'm very proud of you. Just remember, I'm boss, I'm immortal and things will be just fine.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Gardening for dummies

I am not one to grow plants. I've heard people say, "get a cactus, you can't kill them".

Umm, yeah you can, and I did! Mama still hasn't forgiven me for that one yet.

Being in the new house makes me feel all-domestic and stuff. Surprising, huh? Anyway, on one of our excursions to Wal Mart, Andrew and I went through the garden section. I was eyeballing on the plants and smart-ass had to point out that I kill everything I have ever brought home. But this one was different. It said: Gardening for Dummies. It even came with directions. And they are as follows: stick finger in plant, if dry, water, if wet, don't water. Yup, I can do that!!! Or so I thought.

I bring this flower home and Steve humors me and puts my plant hanger up beside the steps and I hang it up. Well, everyday, I noticed it looked a little more peaked than the day before. Even my climbing strawberry vines are looking sickly. I was watering it every other day, even talking to the damn thing, but no luck, it looked like I had killed another plant. Then one of Steve's friends came over and was looking at my poor pitiful plant and he tells me I'm frying it. HUH?? A plant can get too much sunlight? Why didn't the Gardening for Dummies pot tell me that? Well, come to find out, it did. It has a tag thingy placed in the pot. It gave me all the information I needed. Come to find out, I'm the proud owner of impatiens and they only need 4 hours of sunlight per day.

I move the plant to the front of the house, where the sunlight only hits in late afternoon. The damn thing still was dying. I couldn't figure it out. I had it hanging in the perfect spot for sunlight. I assumed it was getting water from the afternoon thunderstorms. Apparently not. It seems our old farmhouse had better guttering than I thought and my poor plant was dying of thirst.

I started watering her on Thursday and then this morning, I noticed the blooms. Steve and I had to get some pictures, because after all, it's my first flower that I killed and brought back to life and it has such cute little flowers. On the side of the pot we both noticed some printing that says: SUN/EVIL

I reckon if I'm gonna be all-domestic and stuff, I ought to learn to read all the directions, huh? I could have avoided this to begin with. But it seems to have forgiven me for frying and dehydrating it, so it gave me some flowers. Now if I could only get my Mama to do the same. Forgive me that is, not give me flowers.

Friday, August 3, 2007

Kool-Aide Flavored Lunchmeat Anyone?

This is a bitch session, if you don't want to read complains, you may want to stop here.

You can either laugh or cry when things aren't going your way. But have you ever cried so much you started laughing? I have. And being the world's biggest snot producer, believe me when I say, it is not a pretty sight.

It started last night when I couldn't get to sleep. The new kitten has decided since I look nice and fluffy, she will use me as her personal pillow. As the upstairs is hot as Hades, I wasn't a happy camper. An 8/9 week old kitten does NOT know the word no. Finally dozing off, I woke to this horrible beeping sound. In my head, I was telling my sister to turn off her fucking alarm before it hit the wall. As I came awake, I realized I was alone and it was Steve's alarm. Smacking every button and turning every knob, I finally got the damn thing to shut up. I lay there, rubbing the sleep from my eyes when it hits me, a wave of nausea. I lie back down, smoke a cigarette and try to stifle the urge to hurl. I was successful.

I should have known when Steve came upstairs and complained about the upstairs needing cleaning and then the dog started barking that I was in for it. I pull on clothes and stumble downstairs. I have no idea at this point where Steve went, but I make it to the kitchen. My earlier attempt to keep last night's dinner was not so successful this time. Luckily, the kid was there to help me. I go into the living room and plop down, thinking I am going back to bed, I feel like shit barely warmed over. But no, it just wasn't going to happen today. Steve is frustrated and heads off to work, early. I sit there for a few minutes, check my email and smoke. After hearing it was going to be 93 today, I decide to get our little blow up pool cleaned up and refilled.

Thinking this was a good idea; I go to get the blower-upper thingy. I hear Andrew say, " That's just nasty Alyssa". Knowing, it takes a lot to make my kid's stomach turn, I knew I had better check things out. Alyssa had decided to follow in my footsteps and leave her breakfast on the carpet. Ya know, at least I made it to the trashcan. She could have had the decency to do it on the linoleum. I get that cleaned up and we finally head outside.

Standing outside at 8 a.m. getting sprayed "accidentally" was not helping my mood. After several smacks on the butt, Andrew gets my point and decides to behave. At this point, I'm thinking the day may just redeem itself. That is what I get for thinking. We go inside as the pool fills up. Throwing all our clothes in the dryer, I tell Andrew to decide what he wants to eat.

Andrew decides he wants bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast. Cool deal, I can handle that. I've never cooked eggs any other way than scrambled, but I'm sure I can do this. Yeah, well, if you don't like them fried hard, I'm not the person to cook breakfast for you. After 2 attempts I get the yoke, unpopped, into the frying pan. Feeling rather proud of myself, I get all of Andrew's food onto his plate. I told him to get something to drink and we will go watch t.v. until the pool is filled.

I then hear a thud, coming from the refrigerator. Knowing this is not a good sign, I look around and there is red Kool-Aide coming out of the refrigerator. As in, pouring out. And what is my dear son doing? Standing there with huge tears in his eyes. Somehow I manage to get a towel on the floor, but the Kool-Aide has already ran down the back of the fridge, into the drawers, pretty much drowning any food in paper containers. Luckily, we need to go to the grocery store anyway.

Our sink is screwed up. If you run water in one side, the other side starts bubbling back up. Knowing I could not clean the shelves in the kitchen, I have to carry everything into the bathroom, scrub it down, dry it and take it back. There was some unidentifiable lunchmeat, which now resides in the trashcan. I managed to salvage everything else.

I finally get it all cleaned up. I sit down to smoke a cigarette and look out the window. Guess what we forgot? The pool. There was enough water in the pool to let water run out on all 4 sides (and it was sloped downhill). The squirrels were on top of the clothesline pole; their little food haven had turned into a lake.

I guess it's a good thing we don't pay for water. All of this and it's only 9:19. I wonder what else the day has in store for me. I'm almost afraid to speculate. But at least I have a clean refrigerator and the grass has been watered. The rest will have to wait.