Thursday, December 13, 2007

New Haircut with pics

I have been threatening to cut my hair lately because it refuses to do anything at all. It stays in a ponytail 23 out of 24 hours. So I went and got it cut. The longest piece was 18 inches. I couldn't donate it because it had 6 different hair colors in it and that wasn't counting the grey.

Of course, as soon as we got home, I had Steve take pics for me. A couple of the pictures are of us goofing off.

Monday, December 10, 2007

From my front porch looking in...a photo blog

Several months ago, one of my blog readers ( I think it was Jen), asked about our house. I've made a slideshow. Click on the link below to see our home. Once you are looking at the first picture, click on the I to read the decriptions.
Steve has found records on the internet saying the house was built in the 1920's. I spoke to a lady who said it was built earlier than that. Anyway, hope you enjoy the pictures, it only took me 5 months to get this done.

Our home

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

What is trust?

I have trust issues. Apparently so did my mother because she always told me, "NEVER trust a man who says 'trust me'" While this somehow holds to be a true statement in my life, I can't through go through life not trusting people. I would be a miserable person. I also know that I have had 3 failed relationships due to trust issues.
What happens when you finally do let down the walls you have built? You let someone "in".
How do you define trust? Is it something that you discuss at the beginning of a relationship? Do you sit down and say "these are the ground rules, if you break one, you lose my trust?"

What happens when the trust is broken? Do you give up and chalk it up to yet another life experience gone wrong? Or do you try your best to learn how to trust that person again? How can you trust a person when you can never find out if they are hurting you except by accident? How can you give a person who has hurt you blind trust? Can it be done? If so, how?

A lot has happened in the last 24 hours. As usual, all I have are questions and no answers. Right now, I don't know my ass from a hole in the ground. A lot of hurdles have been thrown in my path. I don't know how to "fix" what is broken. How can you fix something that the other person doesn't believe is broken?

I know this is a confusing post. I also know I may be "airing my dirty laundry" It is a chance I am willing to take to get it help/advise/answers.
I hurt and for once in my life, I don't have anyone to turn to and say "what do I do now?" I don't know how to start healing and stop the pain.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

I'll Admit It

I'll be the first to admit it, I'm a Gadget Geek. I love little things that have no real purpose but to amuse me. Take bubble wrap for example. I love that stuff, I can sit and pop it for hours. But wait, bubble wrap isn't a "gadget" is it? Well, it is now!

So today in my internet travels, I found a really cool website.
I could waste a lot of money on some of the stuff on there.

So, if you are one that likes little gadgets and pointless things, go check it out:

Coolest Gadgets

If I Had A Warning Label

It would say:


Sex , Lies and Videotape??

When meeting my boyfriend, I knew he was quite the perv, as I can be at times. However, what I did not know is that he would continue his conquests online. And how did I find out this information? He left a website page logged onto my computer. I found it accidentally when I went to view the page (we both belong to this particular forum).
I'm pissed beyond reason. I have no idea what I should do. I did tell him about finding it but I didn't go into details. No clue what to do.

Is cyber sex considered cheating?

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Who you’d be today

Their names are Sarah Katherine and Robert Douglas. Born November 17th, 1996 Died, November 17th & 18th 1996.

Is it easier to lose a child whom you have never gotten to know? Or is it easier to lose a child you have just borne?

I don't think there is an answer to that question. As the birthday/anniversary of the twins birth and death is upon me, I have questioned myself. After seeing what Gordon went through with Samantha's death, I still have no answers. He had 19 years to get to know her; I barely had 19 hours. I often find myself wondering what their personalities would be like, who would they look like, who would they be?

At Samantha's funeral, they played a song by Kenny Chesney, Who You'd Be Today. Somehow I find that song appropriate for yesterday and today.

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe you're gone

It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
The death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder who you'd be today

Would you see the world?
Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family?
I wonder, what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

Today, Today, Today
Today, Today, Today

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday

Someday, Someday

Friday, November 9, 2007

Instructions to Civilians

Iann, my little brother sent this to me, figured I'd share. Don't forget Veteran's Day is on Monday.

Dear Civilians,

We know that the current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and excited to join the military. For those of you who can't join, you can still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your assistance:
1. The next time you see an adult talking (or wearing a hat) during the playing of the National Anthem---kick their ass.

2. When you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest---kick their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the highest amount of respect to all Veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise, quietly pull them aside and explain how these Veterans fought for the very freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these Veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled Veteran kicks their ass.

4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues, telling others that you used to be "Special Forces" and collecting GI Joe memorabilia might have been okay when you were seven years old. Now, it will only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. Quietly thank the military member or Veteran lucky enough to be carrying her. Of course, failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

6. Don't try to discuss politics with a military member or a Veteran. We are Americans, and we all bleed the same, regardless of our party affiliation. Our military Chain of Command is to include our Commander-In-Chief (CinC). The President (for those who didn't know) is our CinC regardless of political party. We have no inside track on what happens inside those big important buildings where all those representatives meet. All we know is that when those civilian representatives screw up the situation, they call upon the military to go straighten it out. If you keep asking us the same stupid questions repeatedly, you will get your ass kicked!

7. "Your mama wears combat boots" never made sense to me---stop saying it! If she did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore, could kick your ass!

8. Bin Laden and the Taliban are not Communists, so stop saying "Let's go kill those Commies!" And stop asking us where he is! Crystal balls are not standard issue in the military. That reminds me---if you see anyone calling those damn psychic phone numbers, let me know, so I can go kick their ass!

9. "Flyboy" (Air Force), "Jarhead" (Marines), "Grunt" (Army), "Squid" (Navy), "Puddle Jumpers" (Coast Guard), etc., are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. That could get your ass kicked.

10. Last, but not least, whether or not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families. Every Thanksgiving and holiday that you enjoy with family and friends, please remember that there are literally thousands of Soldiers, Sailors, Marines and Airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our country would get it's ass kicked.

I will add one more...

11. If you ever see anyone either standing for or singing the national anthem in Spanish - KICK THEIR ASS.

It is the Veteran, not the reporter who has given us the freedom of the press.

It is the Veteran, not the poet, who has given us the freedom of speech.

It is the Veteran, not the campus organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.

It is the Military who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the flag, who fights for the rights of the protester who burns the flag.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a Veteran!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Season, Reason or a Lifetime?

They say people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Somehow I tend to lump my friends into one of those categories. For example, I have a friend Misty, who I have known and kept in touch with since elementary school. I consider her to be someone I will know for the rest of my life. Yes, we disagree on a lot of things but in the end, we are still there for each other.

The friends who have drifted into my life for a season or two, such as co-workers or friends of friends, if I don't hear from them in years, that is ok. I know they are living their lives and should we pass each other on a street, we will stop and catch up.

The ones who come into my life for a reason are the ones who have taught me something. The lessons I have learned are usually something I can apply to my other relationships.

Today, as is my morning habit, I was reading the paper. (Ok, it's on the computer, but I still call it the paper). I always look in the obituaries, not sure why, guess I'm just morbid that way. And looking back at me was someone who I have thought of many times, but had not seen since last summer. Her name was Tammi. (Not to be confused with my best friend Tammy, she's still alive and sassy as ever!!) I also noticed her family spelled her name with an "e", she hated being "Tammie", she like "Tammi", because it made her unique. To me, that just shows me how much people misunderstood her.

Tammi came into my life when things were at its most chaotic. Kevin was in the rehab, having just been diagnosed with schizophrenia. She was in the rehab because she was bi-polar and generally unstable. The first thing I remember about her is she was so small and helpless looking. I used to tease her that she was the only one to stare at my boobs, because that is as high as she could see.

Like a cute little puppy, Tammi grew on you quickly. I knew there was something "more" going on between Kevin and Tammi, but at that point, I just didn't care anymore. I was living with Tim, I was "happy".

One day I went home to get more clothes (I still maintained my own home) and there they were. Kevin had brought her home with him. She had no where to go, her husband was brought up on drug charges, her kids had been taken from her, and her house had been foreclosed on.

What could I do? I accepted her as a part of the family. Eventually her daughter came to live there. My relationship with Tim was not what I wanted, so I moved home. Suddenly, I was living with my husband and his girlfriend. I don't believe I ever actively thought of her as competition. I just knew her as a friend who needed a family and someone to help take care of her. Hell, I was taking care of Kevin, had a 3 year old son, why not add another kid and a bi-polar, mostly manic woman to the mix? Kevin soon told me he was "in love" with her. I can remember my exact thought "why her? She's a mess." But you can't help who you love.

You can't help who you love. That is what Tammi taught me. You can't change how you feel, even if the person you love hurts you to your core, you still love them. Like that cute helpless puppy, you will continue to go back to the one who hurts you. Over the years, I have learned however that you can control how much influence that person has over you.

As for Tammi, she married a boy named Andy who was 14 years her junior. She literally left our house and moved into his. From what I understand, that didn't last very long. I believe it was her 4th marriage. Tammi lived a sad, chaotic life. When she was manic, she had a blast, but when she came back down, she hit rock bottom. I guess this time she just didn't have the strength to pull herself back up from that black pit of despair.

I have a Bible she once gave me; along with a bookmark that reads "when life has you down, look up". I have no doubt that Tammi no longer has to look up for help. She is finally free of a chronic, life changing disease that has a horrible stigma attached to it. It is a shame it had to end this way.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

I wanna be a penguin

I get up every morning and watch the Today Show. This week is their "Ends of the Earth" week. This morning, Ann Curry did a segment on Penguins.
After watching it and saying "aww" a few times, I realized that guys should be more like penguins.
First, male penguins like their females fat. (yup, got that part covered)
Second, they are monogamous. Well, at least for a year or so and then the next year they will try to find the same partner again.
Third, the female lays the egg, transfers it to the male and heads back out to eat. The male will not leave the egg until it is hatched. If the female is gone, he cares for it untils he returns.
Another cool thing about the penguins is they huddle together for warmth. How could that be bad? Yeah, it's like -20 or colder at times, but you still have all your other penguin buddies to help keep you warm. (and remember, you get to be fat too!)
So, in my next life, I wanna be a penguin. I just hope sharks don't like to eat penguins.

Monday, November 5, 2007

shhh, I'm hunting wabbits again

We took Andrew out over the weekend for his first time shooting a pistol. He seemed to really like it. He actually paid attention to what he was doing and he listened very well to Steve. Sadly, like his Mama, he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. We'll work on that later.

I took the pumpkin left over from Halloween and we all took turns trying to "carve" a new face for it.

So here are the pics.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Martinsville Race

Last week, Steve took me to the Martinsville Race. Here's the link if you wanna check out the pictures.

Martinsville Race Pictures

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Any ideas??

Steve & I have spent all evening sending out letters to the national news, posting on forums, registering with missing persons websites, etc.

Are we missing anything (besides Sam)?? Can anyone else think of something we can do to get the word out??

Thanks to everyone for all your prayers, suggestions and comments!! I love y'all!!

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Your kid might be right

Every time Andrew gets sick and requires medication, he balks when it comes time to take it. My friend Tammy's little girl does the same. She's still little enough that they can pry her mouth open and make her take it. But Andrew is already 5' 3" and 170+ lbs. There is not much I could physically make him do. Especially take medicine. I have to use the coax, beg, bargain and bribe method. A little while ago I found out why little kids don't like medication. "It tastes like shit" to quote my son, after a dose of Nyquil.

I suffer from acid reflux. Probably something worse but that is what I'll call it. Usually I take Nexium and it's all good. I ran out of it the other day and not really thinking, I hadn't asked my doctor for a refill. I must say that stuff really works. After yesterday's events, we got home and somewhere around 9 or 10, I got hungry. Ham biscuits just weren't enough to keep my stomach happy. Steve wasn't hungry so I fixed myself some chili. Truth be told, I had crackers and cheese with some chili somewhere mixed in. We go to bed, I'm fat and happy and ready to sleep.

As I open my eyes, I hope and pray there is some sort of wastebasket or something of the kind near me. (Luckily there was) It's 1 a.m. and the chili has come back to haunt me. Not only was it haunting me, it was fricken' harassing me. I find some Pepto Bismol tablets in the medicine cabinet and go back to sleep. 3 a.m. it comes back for Round 2. By 5 a.m., I cannot longer stand it and I have to go get something over the counter. Luckily, Walmart is 2 minutes away and open 24/7. I sorta kinda get Steve awake enough to let him know where I'm going and head out. Luckily, no freaks to report, I guess 5 a.m. is too late for them.

I get back here and chug some Maalox straight from the bottle. It immediately comes back out. I look at the bottle and it's Mixed Berry. Who in the hell is in charge of marketing this crap? Is putting a horrible flavor in it supposed to make it taste better or leave a better after taste? I know it's very chalky when there is no flavor and I think I can handle that better. What happened to the mint flavor? At least it tasted like toothpaste.

So next time your kid doesn't want to take their medicine, you might want to smell it or even put a small amount on your tongue. I don't think kids are trying to get out of it because it is "good" for them; I think it just tastes so horrible they don't want to keep the taste in their mouth until it's time for the next dose.

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Never will we forget

Again, that Reba McIntire song haunts me. What do you say? What do you say to the father who just received news that his beautiful 19-year-old daughter is gone? What do you say to your Mom when she calls, hysterical and in tears to tell you that Samantha is gone? Do you curse God? Do you fall to your knees and pray that there has been a horrible mistake? The little blond girl who used to follow you around is gone? This cannot be true.

Sadly, it is true. Samantha is gone. I cannot imagine what her father is going through. They were tight. I envied their relationship. She kept no secrets from him and he worshipped the ground she walked on. The Father Knows Best at it's finest.

I wish there were words to express what I feel. I want so very badly to tell my whole family, it will be all right. But somehow, I don't think it will. Things will never be the same again for that family.

Nana used to say to say she had two blond angels. Now, one of them is with her. Rest in peace, Sam.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Tell ’em like it is

Below is the video of what Mom's say in 24 hours, condensed to 2 minutes 55 second. It is very funny. I also found the lyrics.

Get up now

Get up now
Get up out of bed
Wash your face
Brush your teeth
Comb your sleepy head
Here's your clothes
And your shoes
Hear the words I said
Get up now
Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where's your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don't forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it's the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Did you remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don't forget your piano lesson is this afternoon
So you must play
Don't shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don't play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don't forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don't make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don't sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod's my iPod if you don't listen up
Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you're coming home?
Say thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You'll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you're older and you're grown
Can't wait 'til you have a couple little children of your own
You'll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe chew
Up the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I'll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don't get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get up here I'll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose
I don't care who started it
You're grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven's sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?
If I've said it once, I've said at least a thousand times before that
You're too old to act this way
It must be your father's DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straighter when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I'll give you something real to cry about
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don't forget
I love you
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom's work never ends
You don't need the reason why
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I'm the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom

Wednesday, October 3, 2007


Please, I am begging y'all, even though some of you don't live in Virginia, please pass this along by word of mouth, copy/paste, whatever you have to do. My cousin Samantha (Sam) is missing. Please say a prayer/light a candle, send positive energies for her safe return.
Below is her information, her Myspace is:
Sam's MySpace

Samantha Bittler
19 yrs old
short dirty blonde hair
blue eyes
5'5" tall, average build
last seen in Blue Ridge, VA area
Sunday September 30, 2007
Car: 2 door black Chevy Cavalier.
Round Black/silver 8 sticker on trunk.
Letters on License plate K A B
If you have seen her or have any information about where she may be please contact the authorities immediately or:
Ellen Bittler- 1-540-586-1463
Lisa Russell - 1-918-868-4373
Greg Bittler - 1-540-312-7394
Please forward this to anyone you know,
no matter where they live.
Please pray for her safe return.
As of today, October 3rd. The family has no information about what has happened to her.
Samantha's tattoos

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The locket

Today is our 1st anniversary. Tonight I got a surprise. It's pictured below. I have wanted a locket since Andrew was a baby and he accidently broke mine. Now, I need a picture of the two men in my life.
It's hard to believe it has been a year already and what a year it has been. I personally am looking forward to the next 100 or so years....And since I am now a *single* woman again, I can't think of any else I would rather spend my life with.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Goodbye says it all


Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too late
Should i go back and try to graduate
Life's better now then it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops hated us hangin' out
They say somebody went and burned it down

We used to listen to the radio
And sing along with every song we know
We said someday we'd find out how it feels
To sing to more than just the steering wheel

Kim's the first girl I kissed
I was so nervous that I nearly missed
She's had a couple of kids since then
I haven't seen her since god knows when

Oh, oh, oh
Oh, god, I

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

I miss that town
I miss the faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it

If I could I relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

Every memory of looking out the back door
I had the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.
Every memory of walking out the front door
I found the photo of the friend that I was looking for
It's hard to say it, time to say it
Goodbye, goodbye.

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
Everytime I do it makes me...

Tomorrow, I am going to go say goodbye. I look back at the last 2 and a half years and wonder, is there something I could have done to change things? Is there any reason or logic behind trying to change someone other than for your own personal gain?

I haven't heard his voice in almost a year, not in a way I normally would have heard it. I wonder if I can hold it together long enough to say what I need to say. I need closure. I want him to know that life does go on. I honestly believed at one time it did not. I depended on him as much as the oxygen I breath. At times I felt strangled by the hold he has on me. Some days I wonder if he still doesn't.

By now, I thought I would be well on my way to recovering my life. Somewhere along the way there was a set back. I don't feel as though I can go on until I have said what I need to say. There are so many bottled up emotions. Who to turn to? Certainly not the one who destroyed me. Not the one who loves me with all his heart. So I keep it inside and wait. I feel it ticking like a clock. Tomorrow will be the day I finally let it all out.

When all is said and done, I want to walk away into arms that don't deceive me, a heart that loves me and a man who deserves so much more than what I could ever give him.

Monday, September 24, 2007

My clone (with pics)

Last Thursday Andrew and I were pulling out of the parking lot of his school. He hands me a wadded up piece of paper. Below are the pictures. My son's first "love note", isn't that sweet? Today he informs me that he didn't want to hurt her feelings, but she was acting like an idiot, so he dumped her. Hmm, he's already following in my footsteps.

Over the weekend, he had to go get glasses. He's in the 4th grade; same as I was when I got my first pair. Since he is active in sports, we are going to get him contacts in January. He also is getting ready to get his first set of braces. I swear it seems like everything happened over the weekend. My son grew up. ***sigh***

Anyway, here are the pictures. Thanks to everyone for being concerned about my almost, thank God it didn't happen car accident.

I could not deny this child even if I wanted too!!

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Wipe Out

Over the years, I have learned a lot of lessons, rarely has one made me make an immediate change in my lifestyle. Yesterday we finally got some much-needed rain. But it was the type of rain where it was a mist rather than a drizzle, just enough to make you need your intermittent wipers. Traffic was horrible, so I decided I would take the shortcut over to the post office.

Once I was off the main road, I grabbed my phone and called my sister. Not thinking much about it, I continued along the road rambling on as I always do. There is a curve in the road as you go down a hill. You can also turn into a parking lot where there is a water mill. This turn is in the curve, once you start to straighten out from the kiss-your-ass-curve, there is a bridge and the road starts to straighten out a little more. The speed limit sign says 25 mpg, with good reason. I begin to brake as I am coming down the hill and suddenly I realize that nothing is happening. Then it hits me that I am in a full skid. I know I screamed to my sister that I was skidding and threw the phone. I tried to remember if I was supposed to go with the skid or try to correct it. The Jeep goes sideways down the hill and rather than taking the curve, it went sideways into the turnoff and lands perfectly next to a parked car. I don't remember much other than thinking to myself "OMG, I have NO one to call". I was thinking okay, I'm not driving anymore, this is my sign to hang it up and stop driving.

Normally, I am an excellent driver (if I do say so myself). However, with the combination of talking on the cell phone, excessive speed in a curve and rain bringing the oils out onto the asphalt, it was a dangerous combination. A combination I'm not willing to take again. I have only been involved in one accident and that was an 80 yr old lady T boning my sister's car while running a red light. That incident scared me enough that I didn't drive for close to a year.

I don't know which guardian angel was with me yesterday but whoever it was, I thank them. I learned the hard way why you should hang up and drive. So easily I could have flipped the Jeep and messed myself up pretty good. From now on, I think I'll stick to keeping both hands on the wheel rather than trying to pretend I'm a NASCAR driver. What should have been a left hand curve turned into a right hand park, backwards no less. Oh yeah, I found the phone in the backseat and I am still trying to pull the cotton out of my ass.

Monday, September 10, 2007


I swiped this from List Verse and here is my take on them.

According to the dictionary, Superstition is an irrational belief arising from ignorance or fear. There are superstitions for almost all aspects of our daily lives and most have unknown origins. Sometimes they are logical (for example, don't walk under a ladder) but most of the time they are ridiculous. Some people can become controlled by their superstitions (such as the fear of walking on cracks) which is very unhealthy. Here is a list of 20 weird superstitions.

1. A bird in the house is a sign of a death. This one my family believes in. Maybe because when all 3 of my grandparents died, a bird had been in the house within a week or so before their death.

2. A loaf of bread should never be turned upside down after a slice has been cut from it. Umm, we buy presliced bread and what happens if you do turn it upside down?

3. Never take a broom along when you move. Throw it out and buy a new one. Oops, well, does it count if I left mine at my old house?

4. If the first butterfly you see in the year is white, you will have good luck all year.Do moths count? 'cause most of the time I can't tell the difference. I call B/S on this one.

5. If a black cat walks towards you, it brings good fortune, but if it walks away, it takes the good luck with it. Well, I just figure out what my problem is. I have 2 black cats, that explains it all right there.

6. An acorn at the window will keep lightning out. Never heard of this one, wonder if you have to put them in all the windows or just one?

7. A dog howling at night when someone in the house is sick is a bad omen. Never heard of this one either. Although I'm not sure I could hear the sounds of a dog howling if someone was getting sick. I'm sure their retching would drown out all sound.

8. It's bad luck to leave a house through a different door than the one used to come into it. Yeah, our family believes in this one too. Although I can't say that it has made a huge impact on my life.

9. A horseshoe hung in the bedroom will keep nightmares away. Another oops, ours is overtop the doorway in the foyer. Besides I have dreamcatchers for the nightmares.

10. If you catch a falling leaf on the first day of autumn you will not catch a cold all winter. What happens if you catch the first snowflake?

11. If a mirror in the house falls and breaks by itself, someone in the house will die soon. Never heard of this one either, but I know if your Grandma's picture falls, you better watch out, she ain't happy with you. In fact, Grandma fell off the wall so many times at my house, I finally just took her picture down.

12. Dropping an umbrella on the floor means that there will be a murder in the house. I wonder if someone's head is between the umbrella and the floor is the reason there would be a murder?

13. All windows should be opened at the moment of death so that the soul can leave. If you keep the window open, they will catch their death of cold and die anyway, so what is the point in freezing the whole house? And besides that, we aren't heating all of Botetourt, now are we?

14. If the groom drops the wedding band during the ceremony, the marriage is doomed. Hmm, yet another answer to my quest for the reason my marriage didn't work out.

15. To dream of a lizard is a sign that you have a secret enemy. Nope, I know all my enemies, no need for them to remain a secret.

16. If a friend gives you a knife, you should give him a coin, or your friendship will soon be broken. The only knife I've ever been given by a friend was one in the back, so I guess this one is true.

17. You should never start a trip on Friday or you will meet misfortune.Especially if it's a Friday the 13th.

18. Dream of running: a sign of a big change in your life. I always remember chasing someone while running, so not sure if this one is true or not.

19. If a clock which has not been working suddenly chimes, there will be a death in the family. Thank goodness there are no clocks with chimes in our house.

20. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same match. I only smoke 1 cigarette at a time and I use a zippo, so I think I'm good on this one.

And one that Steve and I just had happen:

If you open a knife, then you have to close it or you will cut yourself. He didn't know about that one, good thing I caught him, I don't need any more bad luck.

Sorry, had to edit it so everyone could read it!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Ways to relieve boredom

As most of you know, I've taken the last year off to be with Andrew. Then some other things came up and well, I'm still sitting on my hiney. Being house bound at times can be extremely boring. I suppose I could go out, but with the chemo, I can't stand the heat, am not allowed to be in the sun, etc., etc. So, I am limited to be a homebody. With Andrew now in 4th grade (hard to believe!!), I usually get my housework done and then get on the computer and putter around there. Having just broke my arm, however, does limit my time on here. Kinda hard to type when you have a monstrosity wrapped around your wrist and you have to "hunt and peck" to be able to type. I'm a home row kinda typer. (yes, hard to believe I failed high school typing)

I love to learn about new stuff and read. I found a website a few months ago and now I'm addicted to it. It's called
Stumble Upon. To get the most out of it, you can install a toolbar and every time you hit "Stumble", it takes you to a new site. It's pretty cool and you can set your preferences to tailor it to your interests. So far, I have not found any spyware, adware or gotten anything strange from installing the toolbar. I haven't even gotten spam from joining. That is a huge plus for me.

The next one I discovered is called
Video Jug. As the website says, it's "Life Explained. On film." It's got some really cool videos, some funny ones and most are educational. Today, I learned how to put a condom on a banana and how to look good naked. Hmm, things I probably will never use but are fun to watch anyway.

If you are a news freak like I am, there is always
Fark. And if you like to read about the world of entertainment, there is always WWTDD. Also known as "What Would Tyler Durden Do". It's a satirical look at things in the entertainment world.

I know most of you have jobs (I envy you) , kids (I don't envy you, I have one for sale now), husbands (trying to get rid of one of those too) and wives (don't need one, thank you anyway) etc. so you don't have a lot of time for just wandering around the net. But for those of you who do like to wander, just thought I'd share some of my bookmarks.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The gods conspired against me

2 digital cameras, check. Tripod, check. Cigarettes and sweet tea for the long wait, check. View of the eclipse, errr...Houston WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

I actually get my butt up at 4:30 a.m. EST, to go get pictures of the eclipse and what happens? The clouds have completely covered my view. Damnit, there aren't very many things in life I will roll my butt out of bed at that ungodly hour for, but this was one of the few. After all, it's a photographer's dream. The moon, the stars, an eclipse and in my case, a bunch of clouds.

Well, poop. I must say I'm disappointed. Let's hope and pray we get a lot of rain in the next few weeks. If that is the case, I may actually get some excellent fall foliage pictures. We shall see...

Saturday, August 25, 2007

My family are a pack of animals

As I sit here and watch Meerkat Manor, I realized just how lucky I am. If you haven't seen it, you should watch it. It is an adorable reality series about a family of Meerkats, named the Whiskers. They live in the Kalahari Desert and it seems if any sort of drama can come their way, it usually does.

One may wonder how I can compare my life to a pack of tiny creatures. Well, everyone knows my life has been packed full of one adventure after another. Full of lots of drama too. But that is not the part I am thinking of. The meerkats are a tight, close-knit family who watches after each other. As in, to the death, watch after each other. While thankfully I've never had to kill for a member of my family, I have no doubt in my mind that I would, without hesitation. And I know in return, they would do the same.

I'm sure you've heard the old adage about how it takes a village to raise a child. I am a firm believer in this statement. I often wonder how people raise more than one child. I am in amazement of any mother who has the balls to have more than one. I personally, could not handle having a second child. I used to ask my Mama, how did you do it? And her answer was always the same: you just do.

I was blessed with a lot of aunts and uncles, most biological, some not. We respected them as much as we respected our own parents. Come to think of it, we still do. What they said was law and we obeyed it, for fear of what would come should our parents find out we didn't. I have raised, with the help of Dale, my son to be the same way. And I have no problem whatsoever with a member of my family smacking him on the butt if he needs it. In the same breath, I have no problem whacking their kid either. If nothing else in this world I hope my child takes away from my being his mother, I hope it is to respect family.

As I said earlier, I am lucky in life. Sure, my health sucks a big one. But when it comes right down to it, I have a lot of family and friends who care about me and loves me unconditionally. In addition, I have a really special man who shares my world with me. He got a package deal with Andrew and I, but I also got a package deal with his family. I have come to love them as if they are my own. We may not see them as often as we would like, but when we do, we usually have a great time together.

For all my bitching and complaining, I have to say, I am truly blessed. I'm just glad I don't have to groom them like the meerkats do.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Feel Like Slapping Someone Today?

Lord Knows today I need some destressing!!
This is AWESOME !!!!!! If only we could upload our own individual pictures !!!! ::sigh::

Move your mouse back and forth quickly across the face.
Do you feel like slapping someone?? Try this one! It's nice....just imagine the person you want to hit, in my case it's a list of people....

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I simply have no words for this

Hotdoll for Dogs

By: Midori Nakamura

Clement Eloy is a French product designer who has decided to "help out" dogs when they get the urge. Mr. Eloy has produced other provocative product designs, but this one is the most … primal.

The Hotdoll is a doggy love doll that is supposed to help channel the sexual appetite of canine pets. The doll's shape allows dogs to grasp it easily with their paws, "like female hips," as Mr. Eloy puts it on his Web site

Mr. Eloy proclaims, "A dog is an animal with an enormous sexual appetite which can't be controlled. Many methods consist in artificial ways to stop dogs' inborn caractère. These methods, like castration or meds, are going against the nature laws."

The doll comes in two sizes, large and small, for big and little dogs. It is made of plastic covered with a thick technogel skin ("for a soft feel"). The doll's feet and nose are made of rubber, so it will grip the floor when mounted. The pink hole ("most important part!") "needs to be washed regularly for hygienic reasons." Accessories include a "female odour" spray.

The Hotdoll has been in the media spotlight from the moment it was revealed to the world. And there must be many dog owners whose legs are receiving a little too much attention from their oversexed pets, since visitors to design Web sites everywhere are demanding to know where the item can be purchased. I have not yet discovered where the Hotdoll is for general sale. Please let me know if you find out!

Photo courtesy of

Monday, August 20, 2007

The easy way out

I just read that Michael Vick will take a plea deal. How convenient for him. I guess once he figured out his friends were going to rat him out; he had to do something to save his own ass.

Seems to me there is some sort of pattern going on between these brothers. One of them is a dog killer and the other one is a rapist and does drugs. How can one let "fame" go to their heads to the point that these two have? Dog killing? Who the hell thinks they are high enough in the social hierarchy that they won't get punished for that?

From what I have read, their mother gave everything to these boys. She was a young mother and worked her butt off. She taught them morals. How can they look their Mama is the face? I just don't understand.

Michael Vick takes plea deal, avoids additional dogfighting charges

Atlanta Falcons quarterback and Hampton Roads native Michael Vick has accepted a plea deal – and a likely prison sentence – to avoid additional federal charges related to a professional dogfighting operation, according to one of Vick's attorneys.

Vick is going to enter a guilty plea to the felony conspiracy charge next Monday at 10:30 a.m., said Lawrence Woodward, one of Vick's defense attorneys.

"Mike's accepting full responsibility," Woodward said. "He's going to do everything he can personally and professionally to make this situation right."

Vick's decision came after his last two co-defendants pleaded guilty Friday and agreed in deals with prosecutors to testify against Vick if they were called to do so at trial. A third co-defendant pleaded guilty in July under similar conditions.

With his plea deal, Vick is expected to avoid more serious charges related to a large dogfighting venture called "Bad Newz Kennels" that he is accused of almost entirely funding from 2001 to 2007.

The deal, in its form last week, was expected to include a recommendation from prosecutors that Vick serve at least a year in prison, according to two sources familiar with the discussions. The judge will have the final say in sentencing.

It is unclear how the plea deal will affect Vick's NFL career. League Commissioner Roger Goodell said last week that the NFL was still working on its own review of the case and is closely monitoring talks between Vick's lawyers and prosecutors.

"We're going to do what we always said we were going to do, which is rely on the facts," Goodell said. "If there is some type of a plea agreement, then we will obviously take the time to understand what that plea is and we'll see how it fits into our personal conduct (policy)."

Players and coaches began reacting to a potential plea deal by Vick when the possibility surfaced last week. Redskins coach and team president Joe Gibbs, a friend of Falcons owner Arthur Blank , said the case has been tough "for everybody in the NFL."

"Michael Vick's one of the premier players in the league and no one wanted this to happen," said Gibbs, who owned a small piece of the Falcons before he returned to the Redskins in 2004.

Redskins defensive back David Macklin, a close friend of Vick's who played against him growing up in Newport News, said last week that the case has been hard on Vick.

"We're keeping him in our prayers," Macklin said. "It's a situation he's going to be able to get through. He's going to overcome. We're behind him 100 percent. I've been able to speak with him and he's realizing a lot of things right now. We'll just see how it goes."

At Virginia Tech, where Vick starred in college, his former coaches said last week they didn't want to talk about the case until it was over.

"Nobody condones any of that stuff, if it's true, but when somebody asks me about Michael, I think about being front-row center for a highlight show," said Tech offensive coordinator Bryan Stinespring. "I think about him playing pitch and catch with my 6-year-old son at that time before practice. That stuff is the highlight of my son's life. Now his heart is breaking."

Said head coach Frank Beamer: "Michael is one of ours, and we want the best for him. But I'm going to wait until I hear the final word."

The NFL's recently toughened player conduct policy empowers Goodell to fine, suspend or impose a lifetime ban on a player for criminal behavior. He's levied harsh penalties on players even for being arrested.

Goodell suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones for the 2007 season after he was arrested five times since being drafted in 2005.

In another move, Goodell suspended Chris Henry of the Cincinnati Bengals for eight games this year after a 14-month span in which he was arrested four times and served a previous two-game suspension for his behavior.

Tank Johnson , who served jail time for violating probation related to a gun charge, was also suspended for eight games this year. Johnson's team, the Chicago Bears, released the defensive tackle in June after he was pulled over on suspicion of driving drunk.

Goodell banned Vick from attending the Falcons' training camp after the star quarterback was indicted in July with his three co-defendants. An NFL spokesman said Goodell would withhold further action until the league had completed its review.

In a July interview with, Goodell said Vick had assured him he was not involved in dogfighting.

"His comments to me were very consistent with what he has said publicly: That he does not have any interest in that, that it wasn't happening at his property, and that was his discussion," Goodell said. "And I was very clear with him that if it's happening on your property, it's your responsibility."

A hearing date is expected to be set soon for a judge to accept Vick's deal. It could be months before he receives his sentence. Sentencing dates of Nov. 30 and Dec. 14 have been set for his co-defendants.

Vick, 27, Quanis L. Phillips, 28, Purnell Peace, 35, and Tony Taylor, 34, are accused of starting the pit bull fighting venture in early 2001, the spring Vick became the No. 1 pick in the NFL draft after his final season at Virginia Tech.

In May of that year, Taylor found a location in rural Surry County that looked suitable for housing and training the dogs, and Vick bought the property, at 1915 Moonlight Road, in June, according to a summary of facts that Taylor signed for his plea deal, indicating that he agreed the information was accurate.

Peace joined the operation later that year, and the men began buying dogs and puppies, Taylor's summary said. In 2002, according to the indictment, the group put a name to the outfit: "Bad Newz Kennels."

A source close to the case said prosecutors have a photograph of Vick and his co-defendants sporting that name on headbands and shirts.

The dog "testing" sessions began in summer 2002, followed by the first executions, Taylor's summary said. All four defendants, Vick included, put some of their dogs through fights to determine which ones were good fighters, the summary said.

According to Taylor's summary, Peace and Phillips, a childhood friend of Vick's, each shot at least one dog after those testing sessions. Taylor shot one and electrocuted another, according to his summary.

When the men fought their dogs in real matches, they placed bets with the competing dog's owner, and the purses rose through the years, according to the indictment and the signed fact summaries from Peace, Phillips and Taylor.

One of the earliest fights, in spring 2002, involved wagers of $500 with a dog owner from North Carolina. In March 2003, Peace and Vick sponsored a fight with bets of $13,000 per side, according to the indictment.

In April 2007, Vick, Peace and Phillips executed about eight dogs that performed poorly in another testing session, according to the fact summaries of Peace and Phillips. The summaries say Vick took part in the executions, done by hanging and drowning.

According to his co-defendants, Vick almost exclusively funded the operation and the gambling money. Peace, in his fact summary, said Vick paid him about $3,000 a month to be the dogs' primary caretaker.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

You too can be gansta

Today I think I have repented every sin I have ever committed. The reason? I have had a taste of hell today with the temperature being over 100 degrees. I know without a doubt I do not want to go to hell if it fells ever remotely this hot. And I'm assuming it is kinda hot down there, with all that fire and brimstone the T.V. preachers talk about.

On to my point, I went shopping today to get out of the house, because the A/C was broke. I can't tolerate heat as well as I used to since starting the chemo. Shopping and a hair cut sounded really good. I'm sure Heather would applaud my good sense. Walking around the mall, Jac and I decided we "needed" new purses. And this is what I found.

I know it's a crappy picture, but it's from a camera phone. Those things on top are "brass knuckles" and the straps are made from chain link. Ummm....ok. Not sure who the target consumer was when this product was designed but they sure missed their mark when they put it in our town. But it is nice to know if I ever need a set, I can go to my local mall, get this purse and smack the shit out of someone. Much better than the concealed weapon I was planning on putting in there to begin with.

1 year ago today, I met the man who would become my best friend. So, I just wanted to tell him that I really appreciate all you've done for me in the last year. The whining, crying, screaming and laughing you've had to put up with, I thank you for. I am very happy that you are reaching your goal of having your own shop. I hope you know you will always have me standing beside you, cheering you on. Like I said a few weeks ago, if it wasn't for you, I would have never met Steve. So thanks for making me see things I didn't want to and teaching me to go on with my life. I love ya and I'm very proud of you. Just remember, I'm boss, I'm immortal and things will be just fine.

Sunday, August 5, 2007

Gardening for dummies

I am not one to grow plants. I've heard people say, "get a cactus, you can't kill them".

Umm, yeah you can, and I did! Mama still hasn't forgiven me for that one yet.

Being in the new house makes me feel all-domestic and stuff. Surprising, huh? Anyway, on one of our excursions to Wal Mart, Andrew and I went through the garden section. I was eyeballing on the plants and smart-ass had to point out that I kill everything I have ever brought home. But this one was different. It said: Gardening for Dummies. It even came with directions. And they are as follows: stick finger in plant, if dry, water, if wet, don't water. Yup, I can do that!!! Or so I thought.

I bring this flower home and Steve humors me and puts my plant hanger up beside the steps and I hang it up. Well, everyday, I noticed it looked a little more peaked than the day before. Even my climbing strawberry vines are looking sickly. I was watering it every other day, even talking to the damn thing, but no luck, it looked like I had killed another plant. Then one of Steve's friends came over and was looking at my poor pitiful plant and he tells me I'm frying it. HUH?? A plant can get too much sunlight? Why didn't the Gardening for Dummies pot tell me that? Well, come to find out, it did. It has a tag thingy placed in the pot. It gave me all the information I needed. Come to find out, I'm the proud owner of impatiens and they only need 4 hours of sunlight per day.

I move the plant to the front of the house, where the sunlight only hits in late afternoon. The damn thing still was dying. I couldn't figure it out. I had it hanging in the perfect spot for sunlight. I assumed it was getting water from the afternoon thunderstorms. Apparently not. It seems our old farmhouse had better guttering than I thought and my poor plant was dying of thirst.

I started watering her on Thursday and then this morning, I noticed the blooms. Steve and I had to get some pictures, because after all, it's my first flower that I killed and brought back to life and it has such cute little flowers. On the side of the pot we both noticed some printing that says: SUN/EVIL

I reckon if I'm gonna be all-domestic and stuff, I ought to learn to read all the directions, huh? I could have avoided this to begin with. But it seems to have forgiven me for frying and dehydrating it, so it gave me some flowers. Now if I could only get my Mama to do the same. Forgive me that is, not give me flowers.