Saturday, January 26, 2008

Pic blog

On the 20th, my kid turned 10. I feel really old but after sitting here the other day fighting over who got to shoot the paintball gun thingy, I forgot about that pretty quick!! Steve even got in on the action the night we gave it to him. Not only that, but they went sleigh riding! body can't handle all that. Anyway, here they are...

Our House

Andrew & Alyssa
(note the 3 legged dog will play in snow, but I won't!)

Andrew NOT sharing his ice cream

I think he approves

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

written words hurt too

Some of the conversations Kevin and I had in the past really, really hurt me. But when I read a letter today that he sent my sister, instant fury went through me. As in Dale pisses me off fury. I want to write out a letter that tells him it's a little too late to be telling everyone that I never knew the "real" reason why he used. Who the fuck cares why he used? The whole point is the fucker used. I'm not one to say this, but some times, I feel like he ruined my life. I feel as if he got the "good" years. And those years were spent chasing his ass around from one project to another, dragging him home, only to be abused in some way or another. I am so fucking glad I am not with him anymore. But when he says shit like that, it pisses me off because I think to myself, would it have made a difference if he had told me? Would I have been more understanding? Then I think, hell no, I wouldn't, couldn't and still won't understand how someone can use crack for 10 years and go through almost $450, 000. How the HELL do you get that much dope in your fucking system when you are gone all the damn time?
I think of the money he wasted and what COULD have been done with it. Steve and I could be in our own home now, I could have went ahead with my doctorate. Steve and I could be living in OUR place, our dream. I love this house, I absolutely adore it, I would buy it in a heartbeat and restore it, but no, I had to let a motherfucking crackhead spend all my money. And what do I have to show for it? Scars on my body from burns and scars on my heart. And a lot of baggage that Steve has to contend with.
I wish Kevin did have a way to access the internet or have someone print more shit out for him. Because right now the only thing I have to say to him is I wish you were successful in the suicide attempt. You are worth more to me dead than alive. I hate you and hope you fucking burn in hell. So, print that Stacey Renee....

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


I'll be damned if almost every man I have ever been involved with hasn't either been in jail or is there now. WTF? Maybe the step-monster was right and I did have some sort of freak light on my forehead.
In one way I am thinking "na-na-boo-boo" to both Kevin and Tim. In another way, I feel bad for Tim. That is until I really stop and think about the shit he put me through. I thought of writing him to say hey, I know where you are.....but that seems kinda stalker-ish. Besides, there isn't really a lot we have to talk about, both of us have moved on.
Speaking of moving on, I am still having those horrible dreams about Steve and multiple women. I don't know who any of them are, but they are in my dreams and it's hard to sleep at night. Then when I wake up, I'm so freakin' mad at him for whatever he did in my dream. I'm still very curious to find out what is on that damn computer of him. I'm thinking it is some sort of freaky porn, or all his "love" letters to the skunt (hehe, I love that word). Hell, I ain't got shit to hide, why does he feel like he needs to hide stuff from me? Does he think I'll judge him? God, far be it from me to judge people. I've done some fucked up shit in my life, who the hell am I to say something is freaky or wrong?

Still waiting on word from VUPS, damnit, I hope I don't hear another "you are too qualified" can you be too qualified if you've never done something in that field? I don't want to go back to nursing, but I will if I have to. Thank God I don't have that much debt. I just want to go ahead and get back to work so we can get Steve's stuff paid off and get into a house. Oh yeah, marriage would be nice somewhere along the way. I'm not going to rush that though, I think Steve has realized that living with me is not as easy as he thought it would be.

Ok, I'm off of here, more later, maybe.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Why wait for the will to be read?

Weekend at Bernie's come to life...

Pair Brings Corpse to Store to Cash Check

Posted: 2008-01-09 15:42:30
Filed Under: Weird News
NEW YORK (Jan. 9) - Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said.

David J. Dalaia and James O'Hare pushed Virgilio Cintron's body from the Manhattan apartment that O'Hare and Cintron shared to Pay-O-Matic, about a block away, spokesman Paul Browne said witnesses told police.

"The witnesses saw the two pushing the chair with Cintron flopping from side to side and the two individuals propping him up and keeping him from flopping from side to side," Browne said.

The men left Cintron's body outside the store, went inside and tried to cash his $355 check, Browne said. The store's clerk, who knew Cintron, asked the men where he was, and O'Hare told the clerk they would go and get him, Browne said.

A police detective who was having lunch at a restaurant next to the check-cashing store noticed a crowd forming around Cintron's body, and "it's immediately apparent to him that Cintron is dead," Browne said.

The detective called uniformed New York Police Department officers at a nearby precinct. Emergency medical technicians arrived as O'Hare and Dalaia were preparing to wheel Cintron's body into the check-cashing store, Browne said. Police arrested Dalaia and O'Hare there, he said.

Cintron's body was taken to a hospital morgue. The medical examiner's office told police it appeared Cintron, 66, had died of natural causes within the previous 24 hours, Browne said.

"He was deceased in the apartment when he was removed by these two," Browne said.

Dalaia and O'Hare, both 65, were being held by police and faced check fraud charges, Browne said.

A call to a telephone number listed for Cintron at the apartment he shared with O'Hare went unanswered Tuesday evening. Police said they didn't have an address for Dalaia or attorney information for him or O'Hare.