Thursday, December 28, 2006

"You irritated me"

I can honestly say it's been a long time since someone said something to hurt my feelings. I just hung up the phone with Steve. Tonight we went to my SIL's house to give her a message since she doesn't have a phone. Then we went to the store and got something to eat. We came home and Andrew was sick. He has had a headache all day. Anyway, I didn't realize that I needed cigarettes. I asked him if he would run to the store (literally 3 blocks away, less than a minute by car). He did and didn't say a word about it. He left and Andrew has been throwing up ever since.
Anyway, he called a few minutes ago, to tell me he was home (had been for over an hour). I asked him if he was ok tonight and he said he wasn't feeling very "festive". Then he informed me that he was ok until it was time to go get cigarettes. He said I should have got them while we were out. That I "irritated" him by not thinking ahead. When he said that, a feeling shot through my chest, an unfamiliar feeling, as it has not happened in a long time. He hurt my feelings. Well, I'm so freakin' sorry that I was thinking more about my son being sick than getting a pack of cigarettes.
The phone just rang, and Andrew told me not to answer it if it was Steve. It was Christy, but I still don't want to talk to anyone. Another subject that came up was New Year's Eve. I would like to stay up and celebrate. I'm hoping and praying that 2007 is a much better year for me. So, for once, I would like to stay up. Nope, not gonna happen with him. So once again, yet another holiday fucked up for me by a man. He said "well, you will be beside me". I immediately said "well, I was beside someone last year and it didn't make a difference" and it doesn't if they are asleep. So, I guess either I'll be waiting up for it by myself or be asleep.
Kevin was taken to his prison today. I'm not sure which one, I'm sure he's terrified. I wish I would have taken the time to go see him before he left. I am happy that he's gone, at least now, hopefully I won't have to send all his letters back or screen my phone calls to make sure I don't answer his.
I haven't talked to Gary for a day or two, I'm hoping he's ok and everything is doing alright with him. I miss talking to him. I often wonder if he ever randomly thinks of me the way I do him. I also wonder if he ever reads this. I know he reads my other blog, but I'm not sure he's even interested in my life enough to read this one. Anyway, just a thought that went through my head.
I guess I'm going to try to get some sleep now. Andrew is sick and hopefully will settle down to sleep. I'm hoping I can do the same.


Gary said...

u betta Gary read this and he very intrested and what happen to u u are one of my best friends i care what goes on your life im sorry thing didnt go well for u today but hey brite side damn cant get any worse lol i havent decided myself what i want todo i have option going floyd to party witch i dont drink but make fun of other idot that are drunk and throw tattoo party or sit home with kids to be honest i rather be home with kids but i guess be last min decsion on my part

Amie said...

I should never doubt my best friend...loveya sweetie! Oh yeah, let's celebrate together ;0