Tuesday, April 17, 2007

What do you say in a moment like this?

As I made my way home yesterday, my cell phone rang. It was Andrew. The conversation went something like this:
"Where are you?"
"Trying to make my way home, I'll call you when I get closer, I can't talk right now baby"
"Okay Mama, but I have a question"
"Andrew, I really need to get off of here"
"But Mama, why would someone shoot all those kids? Will they do it at my school?"
"I don't know, baby, I just don't know"

Reba McIntire has a song that says "what do you say in a moment like this?, when you can't find the words to tell it like it is."
That is how I felt yesterday. I wasn't sure what to tell my son, other than (God willing) it won't happen at his school. I had to wait until we were at home to tell him what had happened. Of course, by this time, his little mind had been tainted by his PawPaw Wayne and kids on the bus. It's a shame that any parent should ever have to tell their child about such tragic events.

As most of you know, Steve lives in the area of VT. So when waking up yesterday for the 2nd time, I went into the living room and turned on the scanner and television. I sat there mesmerized and trying to grasp the enormity of it all. Here 24 hours later, I still have not. My phone started ringing, friends asking about other friends, family asking if I was ok and my brother asking if I had heard from a girl from church. It began to sink in.
No, it was not my alma mater, but I spent a fair amount of time on that campus, whether it was going to one of the frat's keg parties to working there for the Red Cross. Now, as I have "grown up", the campus is still a part of my life. Whether it is hanging out in the parking lot before a game or trying to find a duck pond, the campus has always seemed larger than life to me.
I realized a few minutes ago while reading through the list of victims, I had one of the professors. He was a foreigner. I only remember a little bit about him, he was a small man with a big voice. I remember the class more so than the professor, it was one of the hardest classes I ever took on the bachelor's level.

It pisses me off to no end when everyone wants to blame video games, movies or God forbid, music. Makes me wonder if these people who profile have children. Did it ever occur to these people with a professional opinion, that maybe if parents had smacked their kids on their ass when they were younger, things may have been different? I'm not saying this would have solved everything, but no one ever wants to take the blame for their child being something other than perfect.

So what do you say when your child asks about such things? Usually I can come up with some sort of explanation for his questions. Yesterday, I could not come up with any answer. I don't think there are answers for such questions.

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