Little Red Ride

Well, my little red ride pooped out on me today. I have no idea what is wrong with it this time. Either the plugs or plug wires, I hope. Maybe it's something as simple as that.

Went to get a Christmas tree tonight, with no such luck. Too much to go into, but it boils down too sensory overload.

I am sitting here with the music blaring, trying to decide what to do. Well, in particular two things: the job issue and the car issue. I know I need to be rational about the car, it can be fixed. I don't need a car payment at this point in my life. I don't want one either. I'd rather focus on getting my butt into my own home again.

The job issue, well, if I want to never have a permenant schedule, I have the perfect job offer. But I'm too flighty as it is, I can't not know what shift I will work next. I have had Andrew with me going on 3 weeks in a row (except weekends) and I can't just up and send him back. I have fought too hard & too long to send my son back to staying with his dad all the time.

I guess I ought to get my butt in bed, 7 comes early these days. And having to go to the gyn/oncologist tomorrow is weighing heavily on my mind. So, I'm hoping sleep will come.

Here I go again

Since the last journal was compromised, here I go again. I guess we will see how long this one lasts, I hate that I lost all the others, but it was for the best, I suppose.
Let's see, I guess I'm supposed to start off as usual, with my day, etc.
My day sucked, the car broke-again. It's either the plug wires or the plugs. Don't know. Then Steve did not have patience at all tonight. I understand where he's coming from, he's never been around children. It seems my son is trying to test his patience. It also seems that Steve is up for a good challenge. I have a feeling that Steve will win this battle.
I got to talk to Gary this afternoon. It was really good to hear his voice. Some days I wonder what exactly is it that I felt for him, if that makes sense at all. Lord knows I don't have the same feelings for Steve that I have for Gary. I dunno, I'm confused. I reckon because I thought I was gonna lose Steve tonight over Andrew and it scared me. Scared me big time. So what is this?
I also got a phone call from Kevin. That was like talking to an old friend. There was no warm fuzzy feelings or anything like that, just one of those phone calls where you want to make sure the other person is ok because it's been so long since you talked to them. I'm not confused on the Kevin matter. It's over & done with. The pain is gone, I guess. I don't really ever think about it anymore. I guess the old saying about time will tell is true. Damnit, all these men and I can't pin down a "label" for any of them. I can say Gary is my best friend. I feel so comfortable and safe with him. I wish he felt the same. Ahhh, well, can't change the past.
Ok, well, I guess I'm done rambling.

Finding love

After years of commiserating about our love lives, within the last 3 months, both myself and my best friend Tammy have found something neither one of us thought we would never find again: Love.
Remember all those nights Tammy? We wondered what we had done to deserve the shitty ass men we landed? And how we wondered how all the sluts and whores landed the "good men".

Well girl, after talking to you the other day, I heard something in your I had not heard in a long time: happiness. Know what? You deserve it!!
I am very happy for you and whashisname (lmao). I hope he is the one you have been waiting for. Now as long as he understand that if he breaks your heart, I'll hurt him! And remember, Karma is a bitch and she will return in threefold.

As for me, this is a whole new ballgame for me. Time will tell and so far, things are looking good for the home team.

Anyway, just wanted to tell you that I'm very happy for ya'll. I'll talk to you soon girl, love ya and miss ya very much!

Well, I didn't poison him

Well, dinner went well, I reckon. He left in one piece and got home in one piece. I didn't poison him or myself.

And the best part: nothing got burned!!

As easy as it was to cook dinner, I still hate to do it. But, I will. I mean, he needs fed and is all skinny & stuff. I even cleaned up my mess.

On a side note, Andrew cooked me eggs today. Poor kid, has learned already, if you wanna eat in this house, cook it yourself!!
There was no school play he was *sick* and stayed home with me and entertained me all day.

Part II of the Report Card Saga

As expected, nothing is going to happen to my son. To me, this is the equivalent of saying "that's ok, you can continue on this path". What type of example is this setting for him? If he thinks he can get away with not putting forth his best effort now, what will he be like in 10 years? If he would put 1/2 the effort into his school work as he puts into his Nintendo, X-Box and Playstation, he would be doing great.
I do have to say that Tysone was on my side. She took away his games. But Dale just seemed to think it was ok and we would wait until mid term reports to come out and see how things are going. Then the best line of all came "well, I didn't like school, it only makes sense that he wouldn't either"...like I said earlier, stupidity at its finest.
I'm so frustrated. I feel as though I have NO say in this at all. Yet one more reason why he should be in one home and not jumping from house to house. It's out of my hands now. I guess we shall see what happens.
On the upside, he asked me when Steve & I are getting married (kinda jumping to conclusions there isn't he?) He has decided he really likes Steve and wants him to be part of our lives. I asked what he thought about me moving, and he said as long as he gets a bedroom, he won't mind. So, I'm in a much, much better mood now. I have my son's blessing with my new relationship and that makes everything seem better somehow.

The words f*ck it come to mind

Okay, well, I'm grumpy this evening. Thanks to the dumb ass I call my ex husband. Rarely, thank God, do I get grumpy and stay that way for long. But damn, it seems like I'm truly surrounded by idiots. Not only did I have to spend the day with my mother (whole other blog), but now I have to put up with idiocy at its finest. And those of you who know me, know I despise stupidity.

Got my kid's report card this evening and it was bad. Not only did my kid lie to me about what grades he made, the dumb ass (ex husband, not kid) doesn't want to do anything about the grades he made. He is on his way over here to "discuss" things. Ground the kid, make him do extra work in the evening, maybe make your wife who is a TEACHER help him. Do fucking something, don't just fricken' pretend it will get better. I was told "just because you are an over achiever doesn't mean you should push it off on your son" WTF? Expecting good (at least passing grades) makes me a bad person?

I am trying to decide on a punishment for the lying. I am also trying to hold my temper right now because I'm getting ready to go off on the next poor sap who happens to say something to me in the wrong tone. Damn it, I hate feeling like this. Andrew informs me the moon is full. He has decided that is what is wrong with me. I asked him if maybe, just maybe it could be the fact that he is doing so poorly in school and lying to me could be the reason? With a resounding "No" and an eye roll, he walks off to await his fate.

I say "fuck it", I'm gonna have this fight and go to bed. I've had my limit and someone else's too. Tomorrow will be a better day, so I have been told. God, I hope so.

I should have a warning label

Tomorrow is Andrew's school Christmas play. Oh excuse me, Winter Holiday Play. Anyway, Steve has agreed to go (woo hoo). But first he's gonna come over & I'm gonna fix some supper. Yup. He's gonna eat MY cooking. Thank God Richie has been wrapped up in his own life here lately to give him the "speech" on my cooking. Dale being the turd that he is laughed so hard he choked when he heard I was gonna cook. I swear, you burn water ONE time and you never hear the end of it. I have been craving tacos, so I'm gonna fix those. I mean, how can I mess that up? Mama then informs me that if I'm trying to "catch" him, maybe I should forewarn him of my nonexistant cooking skills. She then decides he's so skinny that he needs a good cook and maybe I should take some cooking classes or something? LMAO.

Ok, so I'm not freakin' Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart, but I can cook. I just choose not to, for the most part. I have this thing about cooking. I know it's supposed to work like this; but it irritates me to no end: everything gets done at once. So I'm trying to grab stuff out of the oven, turn stuff off, pull things off the burner so it doesn't burn, and then you gotta make sure it's all done and not over cooked. Then you are expected to eat it? Shit on all that. I'll stick to simple things or as I have done in the past, you cook, I'll clean. Yeah, that sounds like a plan to me.
So, I have already went to the grocery store and got everything, then told various people about it, they start freaking me out.

Ok, to end this seemingly boring, gotta get it out before I explode blog, go check out Steve's blog. Steve's Famous Or should it be infamous? hmmm...either way, I think I'll keep him. Wait, maybe I should wait to make sure he survives tomorrow night...LMAO.