Ever the student

§I have learned in the last few days that some men as assholes and always will be. (no, I'm not referring to Steve)
§I have learned that when you truly think you are going to lose it completely, you still have a gnat's ass of strength left in you.
§I have learned sometimes you have to let go. Pick your battles.
§I have learned no matter what you try to do, you can't please everyone all the time. You have to make yourself happy first. Yes, obligations do happen, however, don't let someone make you feel like shit because you don't want to do it. When it is all said and done, you are only giving them permission to have some sort of control over you.
§I have learned the body can continue to produce snot long after you stop crying.
§I have learned some days you just need to cry for no reason and you know what? It's okay to do it.
§I have learned children know exactly which phrases to use to make you want to throttle them. But I have also learned which ones to use to make his life miserable.
§I have learned how important family is. However, family isn't everything and they aren't right all the time.
§I have learned society is judgmental. Deal with it. It has been since the beginning of time and I'm not going to change that.
§I have learned when you sacrifice something you truly love, you learn to appreciate it more.
§I have learned it is not necessarily true that if you love something set it free. Damnit, I set something free and the fricken' man won't leave me alone. He haunts my dreams, my waking thoughts and in general makes me a miserable person. Sure, set it free, if it comes back, shoot it.
§I have learned a playground will mess up a perfectly good pedicure. (this one I learned the hard way)
§and finally, I have learned when you love someone and they love you back, it doesn't have to be the story book romance. It's love and that is all I need.

My kid beat up your honor roll student.

Today was the first day of practice. My son is now officially in the minor league. Woo Hoo. I'm very proud of him, he remembered almost everything from the last 4 years, with one exception: pointing the ball. I have tried and tried to teach this kid to aim for someone's chest. Honestly, I don't think he hit the broad side of a barn. Needless to say, I don't think he'll be the pitcher. Which is cool by me, I like watching him chase after some of those foul balls. He likes being hind catcher, it keeps his attention. Which is a good thing because it wasn't until last year that I convinced him to stand up during the game and not sit and pick the dandelions.

My SIL, Stacey, is finding out what life is like here in our quaint town. In other words, she's realizing that if your child doesn't play a sport or isn't cheering for the team, then your child is pretty much neglected in school. It's the popularity contest that we have all went through. It seems even now, at (almost) 33 years old, I'm still playing the popularity game.

I got to thinking about this popularity contest called LIFE. It seems everyone is always competing in some fashion or another. We all want to be the prettiest, the thinnest, the smartest or the most liked. And we pass that down to our kids. I didn't realize how much every one craves acceptance from other people until my son went to school. Every parent there was encouraging their child to "go make friends" or "be the smartest".

I will admit, I too am guilty of this. I want my son to be accepted and well liked. He has enough problems to overcome in school anyway. For example, he is already 5 ft 3 in. at 9 years old. He weighs approximately 165 lbs. That is off the charts for a 9 year old boy. I honestly believe the only thing that keeps him from being teased about it, is the other kids are afraid of him. (I did teach him not to take shit from anyone) Yet another example, he is in Special Education. He does not read well, nor does he comprehend what little he can read. Bam! 2 strikes against him already.

It's sad to think that I have pushed my son into thinking social acceptance is something he should strive for. I learned about 10 years ago, from my Mom, Lisa, not to give two shits about what people think about you. Who are they to you? Will what I'm doing right now make a difference in a week? A year? She taught me to stand up for myself and not to take any shit off of anyone. For the most part, I live by those standards. I am who I am. You either love me or you hate me, and I personally could give a rat's ass about either one.

How hypocritical is that? Somehow, I need to stress the value of liking yourself and who you are to my son. I have unintentionally diverted his attention away from himself to the popularity game. I need to rectify this and I need to do it quickly. However, I am at a complete and total loss as to go about correcting my mistake. I'm clueless on this one. I have a feeling that no matter what I say, he will always strive to please someone other than himself. And that, is a sad situation.

Almost over

Well, we have almost made it through. It's been extremely hard, although I'm not as paranoid as I thought I was. I guess I do trust him more than I ever realized I did. I can't wait for him to come home, even if I talk to him 2 times a day, I still miss knowing he's right down the road.

I've had pneumonia and I can't seem to get better. The dr wants to put me inpatient to get me on some IV antibiotics, but I'm not going in the hospital while Steve is gone.

One of my ex's stopped by tonight, wanting me to go riding. I don't understand why he won't just go away and leave me alone. He wants to meet "the man that makes me smile"...I didn't realize that Steve did that to me, but now that I think about it, I guess he does. I'm not going to be social with him and his girlfriend, I know that much. I told Steve about it, I would have anyway, but Andrew was threatening to tell everyone. My kid is a snitch. I didn't even do anything, I just leaned on the Miata and talked. I guess my kid knows me too well...But I know I would never, ever do anything to hurt Steve.
I can't wait until this property crap is settled, so the divorce can be finalized. I'm not sure that Steve even still wants to get married anymore. He doesn't ever talk about it anymore, guess he knows that there is no reason to talk about it if we can't do it.

Well, I'm going to go to bed, Andrew is laying down, so I'm sure he's getting tired too. I hope I can sleep.....

Oh so true

MAYA ANGELOU'S BEST POEM EVER

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who
lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
HOW TO QUIT A JOB,
BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,
AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP.. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its
over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't
take it personally.. .

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

Pictures of this and that

I can't take credit for any of these pics, they are all Steve's. Oh yeah and next year, if I even hint of giving of photography for Lent, someone smack me. It has caused more fights than you can imagine!
Misty got me for Valentine's Day

Below are pictures of the Air & Space Museum

Relatively speaking, I'm getting off easy

Losing half of everything I own doesn't quite sound so bad after reading this:
http://www.aolsportsblog.com/2007/03/14/chelseas-owner-abramovich-to-lose-2-billion-in-divorce

No. Really, thanks anyway.

Ever notice that when you are sick, every one wants to share their home remedies with you? Same thing as when you are pregnant, every one wants to touch your "baby belly" and tell you their horrid birth stories. I personally, run in the other direction when I hear some one coughing and hacking. I don't want their germs. I always tell Andrew to hold his breathe, there are germies out there. Maybe I should live in a bubble.

Back to the home remedies, I'm standing in Kroger's last night and I have a coughing fit. Being the germaphobic person that I am, I cover my mouth and try to cough in the opposite direction of any person who might be within my range. When you are standing in line, there are people in front of you, behind you and on both sides. Kinda hard to "aim" a germ filled cough. Within 5 minutes, these are some of the remedies I got, along with the story of how I know it works:
~The little old lady behind me tells me that if I drink a hot toddy, my cough will go away. I was thinking, if I drink enough of them, I won't care if I cough.
~The young guy in the aisle next to me, tells me to drink Jack Daniels, honey and lemon. "Proven, every time, won't fail you, my pap-paw (??) gave it to me" Now this one I had heard of, my parents used it on us too. Although I'm not sure it was Jack Daniels, I think it was moonshine, because it burned soo bad, if you were to cough, balls of fire would shoot out of your mouth.
~The cashier informs me that hot tea with lemon works for her. As much as I love sweet tea, put some hot tea in from of me and I will hurl for hours. Instant purging. Needless to say, I detest hot tea.
~Johnny told me a few minutes ago, after I begged and pleaded for him to please shoot me and put me out of my misery, informed me he was off to pick up the cough medicine the dr FINALLY decided to prescribe, and he was bringing me home a cappuccino. That will sooth my sore throat and my cough (he sounded like a commercial). But he insisted I shouldn't worry that I have no voice. Somehow, I think he likes the peace and quiet. While Andrew on the other hand, finds it very annoying that I can't make a coherent sentence. (I'm considering it payback for all those years he needed an interpreter as a child, speech therapy really paid off for him!)

I find it extremely funny that nurses and doctors are the worst patients. We tend to not take care of ourselves when we are healthy, let alone when we are sick. And let's face it, I have NO ONE here to help me. This is no one in particulars fault, just the way it happens to be. My sister has my kid in the afternoon, my mother doesn't drive, all my friends have small children and the rest of the people in my world work. This got me to thinking, what the hell am I gonna do in April? There is not a chance in hell I will go stay at someone's home. Slim to none chance that I can convince a family member to come stay here. I was looking at Jasper a little while ago and he just isn't big enough to strap a back pack on. And besides that, he would eat or drink whatever I needed before I got it. I'm thinking Alyssa might work, but how will a 3 legged dog do on steps? Hmm, I need a plan.....
Ok, well, my narcotic laced cough medicine is here. Oddly enough, I'm allergic to codeine, however, not hydrocodone. I'm not sure why codeine suppresses a cough, but I do know that I get that warm fuzzy feeling, so I'm off to take a dose or three...and thanks for the home remedies, if I missed any for coughing, please let me know, I'm willing to give it a shot.
The only one I will not try under any circumstances is the following:
The owner of this drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall.
The owner asks the clerk : "What's with the guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk responds : "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative".
The owner, wide-eyed and excited shouts : "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxatives".
The clerk calmly responds: "Of course you can, look at him, he's afraid to cough."