Friday, June 1, 2007

Is my freak sign on again?

Ok, well, here's a two for one deal today. My IOIC friends will appreciate this blog probably more than most. They have heard of my excursions before.

I make a trip to the umm, toy store, yeah, that is what we will call it for modesty's sake. I went by myself, no sister, friends or mother this time. And dang it, I'm on a mission.

So, I'm standing there looking like a kid in a candy store, mentally making notes of things that look interesting. I sort of back up, in order to lean over to look at something on the bottom row, and I feel this thing on my butt. And to make it worse, it's vibrating, gyrating and in general making some pretty weird noises. I think I jumped and yelped at the same time. There was this girl standing there with this thing in her hand. She was putting new products on the shelf and this particular one had all the bells and whistles, so she took it out to look at it. I didn't think at the time that she meant to poke me with it. She then asks me if she could help me. I am thinking "not in this lifetime", but politely decline and hope and pray I can find what I want without assistance. Do you think that is gonna happen?? Of course not.

So I wander up to the front and she is standing there on the phone. I kinda look around and wait patiently and try not to appear as though I am not listening. But I was. And I wish I hadn't. Now at 33, I've seen, watched and participated in some strange things. But this had me flabbergasted. Remember, I can only hear one side of the conversation and it went something like this:
"sure, I can bring the numbing cream"
"the black and white panda one?"
"I thought you liked cats better"
Now, at this point, I'm ready to hi-tail it out the door. She says a few more things and gets off the phone. In her most cheery voice, she says "Would you like to come to a pet party tonight?"

Me? Huh? What is that? I'm confused. All I want is something my doctor suggested and here you are inviting me to some type of pet thing. I immediately decline, saying I have plans for the night, thank you anyway. I ask her if they have what I want, she goes directly to the shelf and hands it to me. She then proceeds to ask a million and one questions as to why I want it.

I thought my "freak magnet" neon sign was turned off last August.(My Mom swears I have a neon sign on my head that says I'm a freak magnet) I guess not. I'm still trying to figure it out. I kinda have an idea of what this party is, but am not 100% sure. My question is WHY?? And do I look like a person who would go to one of those?

If the answer is yes to the second question, I give up. I'm just gonna sell usage of my forehead for tattoos. I hear one chick got $10,000 for advertising. I sure hope those bulbs burn out soon.

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