Having your cake & eating it too

When I was younger, all my parents had to do was back me into the corner and I would spill my guts. Hell, I'd tell them about stuff that my siblings had done years before. Yes, I was the tattle tale of the family. I can admit this now. At the time, I used it as protection. Having 2 older brothers and an older sister who frequently used me as a scapegoat did not set well with me, so I learned very early to spill my guts. Oh, I also learned that a quarter was not enough to make me tell all my secrets. However, if you negotiated it up to $1.00, I'd tell all and then some.

I was taught from a young age to tell the truth and expect nothing less from others. I still have this high standard. I have blogged about this once before when a friend lied to me. Well, tonight I'm gonna say a few words about the "lying by omission" part.

I screwed up tonight. As in, enough to lose a friendship over screwed up. I feel bad for this friend. He continually tells me he is happy and honestly, I'm happy FOR him. He honestly believes he is in love with this woman and if that is what does it for him, go for it. I'm not gonna stand in the way of "love".

So, how did I screw up? I called his home. Let me clarify this. He or (to give him the benefit of the doubt) his cell phone company screwed up a text message. 1^st text said to call him. 2^nd text said I'm at home. So, I'm assuming that means "call me at home", not thinking one thing about it, I found his home number and called. Next thing I know, I'm talking to his girlfriend/wife/fiancée, whatever the hell she is this week. OOOPPPSSS.

So, how does all this tie into the lying by omission? Because if he would just come out and tell this woman, "I'm still talking to her, we are friends, nothing more, nothing less and she has moved on with her life", I wouldn't feel so bad for him. To have to live a life where you feel you have to lie to your partner must be an awful existence. I personally couldn't do it. I have kept 1 secret that I know of from someone I loved, and it has almost ruined my life. I don't understand how to keep up with a lie. I mean, if you tell it, you have to remember it, right? Well, my memory is worthless these days, so that wouldn't work. Then, if lying by omission, you can't tell certain things you know or something you saw, whatever and everyone knows, my mouth runs constantly, so I would be the one to bust myself on that one. All in all, it just seems like too much trouble to me.

Steve made an excellent point when he said this guy wants to "have his cake, eat it and save some for later". I had never thought of it this way. Somehow it seems to be true. I'm not gonna hold it against my friend; it's just the way he is. But it's very irritating to have to "sneak" to talk or wait until someone's not around. I guess this was just a rambling on my part, but I still think that lying by omission is still lying. Just like cheating is cheating, no matter what form it takes. So, I'll end this with some clarification. We are friends, no matter what, I can tell him anything and I do. There is nothing he does not know about me. NOTHING. I don't want him as anything more than a friend. Some women just need to get over their insecurities about their men having female friends. Not all of us are after your men. Some of us have our own. And if you can't trust your man enough to have a female friend, maybe you should step back and evaluate your relationship, because who wants to be in a relationship without trust? I've been there and will never go back. I can FINALLY honestly say that I am in a relationship where I completely trust someone. Not only regarding other females, but with everything. And that is a really good feeling.