Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Dear Abby

As I grow older, I spend less time asking for advice from my mother. I suppose there are two reasons for this, one being she has Alzheimer's and various other mental issues. The second being, well, she tells me what I don't want to hear. (Odd, huh?) And usually she is right about things. But she has to "rub it in" once her prophecy becomes reality.

Now Daddy and Lisa, yeah, they tell me stuff I don't want to hear either. But they don't do it in a condescending sort of way. And again, usually they are right.

You would think that with all my parents giving me such good advice, I would listen. But do I? No, I'm too stubborn and have to learn the hard way. Then, as most kids do, I crawl back and bawl on their shoulder and ask them why didn't they tell me this to begin with? (They did, I was just too busy ignoring them)

Then there are moments when I hear: "Mark my words, you are going to regret this". And I absolutely hate hearing it. And I'm not ashamed to say, I have covered my ears and hummed to myself when advice comes out of someone's mouth beginning with those words. Which always brings me back to the age old question: "what did you ask for, if you didn't want the answer?" I guess I'm waiting on someone to tell me what I want to hear. And damnit, I haven't met anyone yet who will do that. Maybe Dear Abby might...

Thursday night, Steve and I were talking over dinner and out of his mouth comes the remark "I tried to point that out earlier". And in my mind, I thought "yeah, you did, but I wasn't ready to listen then".

So here I am, ready to take his advice. And here I am, wondering why in the hell did I not listen to him to begin with? And I answered my own question:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

No, I don't truly believe I'm insane or heading that direction, but it sounds like a good excuse to me.

So on that rambling note: wish me luck. I'm about to ass kiss like I have never ass kissed before. But, it's for a good reason. We shall see what happens. I don't accept defeat well, I never have. However, when defeat comes in the form of rejection, I have been known to completely lose it. This time I am bound and determined, I will not lose it. I'll keep my head held high and not let them know how disappointed I am. Again, insert insanity theory here.

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