Ok, well, I had posted earlier on this. I reread it and realized how selfish and bratty I was being. Poor Steve, he's got a lot on him right now and me throwing a freakin' temper tantrum is not going to help. I asked him to please come over tomorrow rather than Thursday. I'm gonna have to just spill my guts and tell him everything I'm feeling. God, either he will run the other way or he will just accept it and try harder. I need him to be there for me. I don't want him to be at my beck and call, but it would be nice if he would at least be able to say 'hey, how are you' every once in a while.
Am I expecting too much?? Am I comparing him to all the others? God I'm so fucking confused right now and I don't know why or what brought this on. All I know is that I love Steve, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I can honestly, finally see me in a committed relationship. This is something I have tried to achieve for 10 years now and I never could find the one. Now I've found the one and he seems so emotionally detached. I say this in all honesty, I would live in a freakin' card board box on an iceberg with this man.
I need to sleep and I can't. I'm scared that I will check my email tomorrow and he won't come down and I will feel all rejected and crap. Damnit. ERRRRRR. I seriously need to start getting some sleep, I think I'm starting to go insane.
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