Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Revision of one of my die hard theories

A friend of mine and I recently was discussing Valentine's Day. She asked what was the particular reason I chose not to celebrate it. My first response has always been I do not need a day to tell someone that I love them. Which is true. I try to tell my loved ones every time I talk to them that I love them. Standard goodbye is usually "ok, love you, be careful, bye". I learned a long time ago to tell people you love them before it's too late. I have heard so many horror stories about people not being able to really tell someone how much they meant to them and when they finally did, it was usually to a pine box and the shell of the person. I never, ever want to be standing over a dead loved one, wishing I had told them I loved them.

Back to my theory on Valentine's Day, it has not always been this way. I used to celebrate with Dale. I don't think I was ever involved with anyone else long enough to celebrate it. If I was, I don't remember it. Kevin was always in jail, so I guess that is how it got pushed to the side. I've always done something for Andrew, even if it's just a card and some candy.

So, as we were talking and she was giving me history of Valentine's Day, she was encouraging me to give it another chance. It's in remembrance of a Saint after all. She made an excellent point. Just because Kevin fucked up every holiday and birthday you ever had, why should that stop you from celebrating with the one you love now?

Hmm, never thought of it that way. I guess I do have a lot of "baggage" I brought with me to my new relationship because of him. A lot of it, I can honestly say, I have gotten over. But the holiday thing is still there. I expect the worst. So, for the sake of not letting him run my life anymore, I've decided to celebrate Valentine's Day.

Sorry Steve. I know you were expecting not to have to be all romantic, but you can do it for me, 1 day out of the year. Honestly, the rest of the time, I could give a rat's ass if you are romantic or not. LOL. And that is my new theory on Valentine's Day.

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