Thursday, October 5, 2006

more on pet peeves and such

Don't tell me nothing is wrong when obviously there is. ERERERER. I'm so fucking aggrevated right now. And don't fucking ask me to tell a secret when I've been sworn to secrecy. Remember, honesty is VERY important to me. If you can't be honest with me, you don't need to be a part of my life.
Don't get mad at me because I can't give you the answers you want to hear. 2 things I don't do: blow smoke up someone's ass and I damn sure won't kiss anyone's ass to get somewhere. I'm not a manupulative person. Somedays I wish I had that in me, because I could get a lot more in life than what I have now. I could possibly have the man I want, but I wouldn't do that to him and I won't lower myself to that level either.
Damn it, now I'm in a fucking pissy ass mood. I give up. I'm trying so damn hard to be his friend and some things just seem to explode on me.
I honestly am beginning to feel like back up. Fuck that shit. I'm done.

Guess the wind blew the wrong way today,'cause my feelings are all fucked up and i feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I needed my friend today and all he fucking cared about was someone saying he was hot, he should take that as a compliiment. I needed to tell him all about the dna tests. How scared i am. I have no one else to tell, I haven't told anyone else. Maybe it's time I do, so i don't rely on just him as my sounding board. And besides, once I get back into the swing of things, I can't exactly tell him all. Some days I wonder if it wasn't a mistake to let Tim go as a friend. At least he fucking knew me inside and out.

I'm going back to bed, fuck this shit, getting pissy over something stupid. I fucking needed him and he let me down.

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