Monday, October 2, 2006


I could not believe it when I read this:

OK, I'm going to tell you something that I shouldn't. Id be lying if I said that I didn't consider the posibility of a relationship with you. I hope that that dosen't get interperted as some big red flag. But I did think several times last night...I wonder how far this might go. I think that is probably a natural reaction to size-up people like that. The conclusion the I came to is that I definatly would like to become your friend and get to know you, in the real world, with no expectations of anything else. Let the future come as it will. After all you never know when you might just accidenly bump in to the one person who complimants you personality.

OMFG.That is all I have to say on that. OMG.

I had a horrible panic attack this afternoon, and it scared the shit out of me. And I don't know why, but he is the first person I called. I just knew he would be able to calm me down. He didn't answer. No one answered. Which scared me even worse But it turned out, I got through it by myself. WOO HOO. Mark another one down for Amie can do this herself. But I don't want to do it by myself. I want to do it with someone. Someone that I love.

Jac called this afternoon and said "Andrew didn't get off the bus" Instant terror went through my body. Then Dale called and by that time I was crying and forgot the camera was on and was crying, kinda hope he didn't notice. And then Jac called back and said he was hiding in a tree. I jumped his shit when he called. All that led to the horrible panic attack.

On to other things, Steve just sent me a message, asking me out to dinner. I don't know what to do about that. I will admit, he is an extremely interesting guy. But that is about as far as that goes. I'm not real big into this online dating crap. And to go out with someone who I met online feels really weird anyway. I don't know. He has a lot going for him, he is only 29 though. He surprised me by asking me where was I 12 years ago. ummm, I was in college, he was a minor. LOL. That's sad. I have made another good friend, which is cool.

Well, I'm done. I'm so freakin' confused right now. I need to let today's events settle in my mind. And I'm so tired from that panic attack. more later.

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